Every day we feel needs that cause us anxiety, discomfort and make us feel like children, we feel empty in the soul when we stop being important, when we are not right, or when we feel victimized by what is going on in our lives. Lives.
We will analyze each of these needs that, according to the psychologist and writer Bernabé Tierno, are the cause of the voids in our soul, and can lead us to produce anxiety and stress if not properly controlled.
- The need to be important is the result of a lack of self-esteem.
- An uncontainable desire to be important to fill the gaps we feel in the soul is born.
- When in reality what is happening is that we do not love each other enough.
Whoever feels this need will try to be appreciated by everyone and will not hesitate to lie to achieve it, a person who needs to be important will adorn your life so that everyone will adore you and get your moment of glory, yet a moderate desire to be taken into account is normal and healthy, the problem arises when that desire becomes uncontrollable.
It is the desire that everyone always agrees with what we say or think, people who suffer from this need argue fervently when someone does not give them a reason, because if they are not right or do not give it, they feel naked and unprotected.
There is no doubt about the need for love as a life force, as a spontaneous and pure feeling that arises without us realizing it, the emotional component of love makes it appear or disappear without us nod.
It makes no sense for someone to forbid love or ask to be loved, because love is not controlled, it simply arises. A person who feels the need to love and be loved is usually a person who does not love himself.
Anger and outrage in some situations are human. We were all upset at a time in our lives when we were outraged by an injustice. But anger is not justified when we use it to cover up our mistakes or wrongdoings. In this case, outrage or outrage. Anger no longer has a noble purpose, it only serves to feed our ego.
There are very negative people, who only see evil, seem to see nothing but misfortunes and can never say anything positive, they are people who convey concern and always argue that we can never worry enough, it is not possible to argue with a person who thinks so, because it is the same as talking to a wall, and you can always end up infected by your negativity.
Children, when they are wrong, sometimes try to blame another child, but that behavior must be avoided by praising the courage and honesty of those who tell the truth, despite the consequences, it is important to learn that although the behavior has been bad, it is noble to recognize the error and repent.
Love for ourselves is healthy and normal, it must mature with age and be accompanied by empathy and concern for others, but when this love is overwhelming, we become selfish and proud beings who seek only their own satisfaction.
The real victims are outraged by a real assailant, with a first and last names, and never want to be the center of attention, on the contrary, they are ashamed and afraid of the situation. But there are people who have never been mistreated and who play the part. role of victims to become the center of attention.
There are active people who work, take responsibility and achieve goals; and there are passive people who do not know or dispute, who are not there for anyone and who do not want to take any responsibility, this is due to the fear that these passive people should show the the same as they are, because they actually feel inferior.
People who tirelessly seek the faults of others, who constantly seek them out and throw them in the face, paradoxically, cannot bear a single criticism, the hyperchrytic is unable to take responsibility for their faults and that is why he is dedicated to criticizing others, rather than criticizing. Each other.
The need to have many things, to buy things that we do not need, is caused by our desire to cover our empty souls with all these material goods, paradoxically, the greater the need to accumulate things, the greater our emptiness. we must be aware of our mistakes and we must seek riches in our intellect, in our minds, and in our feelings.
“Unbridled spirits unnecessarily yearn for the highest perfection. “
-Johann Wofgang Goethe-
Is this need perhaps the most dangerous of all, because it directly generates anxiety, stress, low self-esteem?A perfectionist strives tirelessly for success and nothing seems to be enough. Dissatisfaction causes stress and exhaustion. To avoid this behavior, it is essential to be aware of who we are and to evaluate our flaws and virtues.