Reflecting on the negative consequences of yelling at our children will help us control and manage our impulses, analyze where this behavior comes from, and what it causes in the family circle is the key to changing it once and for all.
We all know the importance of educating our children with respect, and there are many resources and tools that we can use to not punish or yell at them, yet, at times when we feel overwhelmed, we may feel like shouting at each other These situations make us feel guilty, bad parents and frustrated.
- However.
- Some parents are unaware of the negative consequences of such behaviors.
- In this article we will talk about two dangerous consequences for the development of children in adulthood.
“The person who screams is not always right. “-Alejandro Casona-
Screams convey a message of little patience and tolerance, when we desperately need something we tend to raise our voices and ask for things screaming, yet yelling at our children can send the message that they are doing something wrong. , even if we claim that they will obey us, they will feel that they do not live up to our expectations.
When the situation is constant, we give the children a bad idea, they may believe that no matter what they do they will not do it properly, that we will never be satisfied and that they will not be able to do anything to make us happy. The feeling of not doing things right? and deserving of screaming will probably accompany our children for life.
The foundations of our children’s self-esteem come from outside, their references, with love and approval, must make them feel that they are capable people, that does not mean that we have to give them false confidence, sometimes they need to be frustrated. However, it is important that our expectations are in line with your age and knowledge. Above all, we must realize that our children are not perfect.
“All men who have nothing important to say speak up. ” – Enrique Jardiel Poncela–
It is very common, for example, to yell at our children in the morning when we are in a hurry to take them to school, however, we cannot expect the children to do their job as fast as we do. age and rank; we may have to help them get there on time.
If we give them little time or ask them for something above their level it’s normal that they can’t do their job, so we end up screaming, giving them the impression that they can’t do anything. these situations are that we don’t like them because we consider them incapable.
We must remember that our mission is to help them until they are more self-sufficient, in this way we promote true self-confidence, which over time can lead our children to do the right thing: respect their parents, collaborate at home. nor clean your rooms; however, they won’t do it out of fear. Their actions will come from understanding their role and believing that they are able to do things for themselves.
“When we discuss a problem, the reason is not with those who shout the most, but with those who are able to correctly present their arguments. “? Fernando Savater-
We must be the example of our children. When we scream constantly and lose patience, it shows that there are situations that overwhelm us, the message we are sending is that we are not able to control ourselves, children learn that shouting is an appropriate response to stress, absorb this way of acting and tend to imitate it in the future.
“What can be of a life that begins between the cry of the mother and the cry of the child who receives them?” -Baltazar Gracián-
Therefore, it is our responsibility to learn to manage our emotions, even though we feel scared, tired or angry, we have to control ourselves in front of the little ones, yelling at our children for the stress we are experiencing simply teaches them that anger is enough motivation to treat others badly.
They should not blame us for feeling upset or anxious in our everyday situations, however difficult it may seem, it is important to encourage them to explore and discover who they really are, our role is to accompany them in their adventures in the face of our anguish We need to find out where our negative emotions come from.
Perhaps we want them to behave the way we would like them to behave, not as they really are, maybe we’re too afraid they’ll suffer or get hurt, yet yelling at our kids to protect them or channel their actions isn’t usually good. a good idea It’s better to believe that things will work out because they’re able to take care of themselves.
In this article you discovered two of the most negative effects of yelling at our children, it is the duty of parents to learn to control their emotions, since this behavior is very harmful to the development of children, they can also learn more effective ways to solve problems and conflicts.
If you’ve ever yelled at your children, you don’t have to punish yourself for it. No one is perfect; the important thing is that now that you know the serious consequences that this way of doing things can have, you decide to change.