James Randi, one of the greatest magicians in history, said these words in one of his interviews: “Cheating is very easy; I’ve been doing this for over 50 years and it’s extremely easy if you know how to do it. However, telling a lie and making it seem true is no easy task, because our minds may feel uncomfortable because it gives away one of the characteristics that most of us greatly appreciate: sincerity.
On the other hand, when we catch someone lying we feel small and vulnerable, we distrust everyone and create a protective shield that breaks us inside, so we often miss the opportunity to spend quality time with interesting people: we doubt everything. they tell us.
- We learned from the beginning that lying is an easy way to make a profit with little effort and avoid retaliation.
- But lies can be counterproductive.
A 2004 study by the University of Los Angeles concluded that even the most honest people lie several times a day in the course of their daily tasks. We all lie and can hide information, which is a more subtle and accepted form of lying.
“A lie would not make sense if the truth was not perceived as dangerous. “
-Alfred Adler-
In personal relationships and with the intention of creating a coherent environment around us, where lying is not the protagonist, experts agree that prevention is one of the keys. But what to do with “professional liars. ” The only way to keep a person from lying is to establish serious consequences that lead them to stop cheating.
Before we determine the consequences, we need to find out who’s lying. Many social studies these days have tools we can use to learn about the characteristics they tell a liar.
To begin with, we will highlight one of the main characteristics of people who hide information or change the truth and are constantly on the defensive: they are afraid to collaborate and explain.
Usually, when we try to hide certain information, we block ourselves both internally and externally, and our actions do not seem natural, so the people who know us, even if they cannot say what it is, feel that something is happening. They end up suspecting what we’re saying or attribute our discomfort to many other factors.
Good and skilled liars learn to control body language in a certain way or, if they think they are unable to control themselves, use other means, such as a phone call, an email, a note, to avoid suspicion.
However, the less qualified show a forced and unnatural expression, avoid sitting in front of the person they are talking to and take a defensive position in both cases, imagine in their mind a thousand ways to be surprised by lying and wanting to do so. get ready so it doesn’t happen.
When we lie, the use of inaccurate words takes us away from real events. This lack of detail is intended to hinder any type of research. On the other hand, it avoids contradictions that may raise suspicions; when we don’t give too many details, we have less information to store in our memory.
The truth is that we all, even the most sincere, make mistakes and inaccuracies, but if someone asks us for more explanations about someone or something, we have no problem with the new information, we can do it quietly. On the other hand, the lying person will do his best not to give a second explanation: he is blocked and does not adequately remember the facts.
“The mind naturally believes and the will naturally loves; so, in the absence of real objects, do we have to stick to counterfeiting?
-Blaise Pascal-