This seems to be a rule: when we have major unsolved problems with ourselves, we tend to create those problems with others as well. There are psychological difficulties that fuel certain problems in relationships.
These are subjective disadvantages that impede the proper development of relationships. The obstacle, or rather temptation, is that you inadvertently try to fill gaps or solve very personal problems by putting all the weight on the couple.
- As in many cases this is impossible.
- We are not only unable to solve such problems.
- But we also harm the relationship with these neurotic expectations.
The most complicated thing is that all this happens in the unconscious, so we are never able to identify the psychological difficulties that cause problems in relationships, we only see its consequences and we usually look for the cause in the other person.
Let’s look at three of those difficulties in detail
“The sign that we don’t love someone is that we don’t give them the best of us” – Paul Claudel-
Emotional absence is undoubtedly one of the main psychological difficulties that cause problems in relationships.
It is defined as the lack of emotional disposition to understand the needs of the other person who forms the couple, that is, apathy and indifference to what happens to the other person.
On many occasions this does not happen deliberately, the person may have simply had a creative style in which it was the center of attention, for example, or on the contrary, you may have suffered an emotional abandonment.
In both cases, there is a kind of blockage in the ability to establish emotional closeness with others.
Sometimes these barriers tend to break for a while, but they reappear soon, that is, when one or both partners close in a bubble and cannot see the needs of the other.
Their lack or self-centeredness is so strong that it does not allow them to pay attention beyond their own demands.
This is another psychological issue that very often causes problems in romantic relationships.
The healthy thing is that the growth process has led to a gradual detachment of the father figure, which must lead to progressive autonomy, in which the person considers himself capable of influencing his own destiny.
Sometimes I don’t. If someone has been educated dependently, not managing to overcome this, is it very likely that they are not looking for one?In the relationship, but also a source of protection, support and care. This way the warping roles begin.
Sometimes one of the couple’s members asks their partner too much, which requires not only emotional availability, but also unconditionality.
In addition, you can expect your partner to face difficult situations, or you may have to deal with problematic aspects of the relationship, as a parent would.
This is a difficulty that often appears simultaneously with the previous ones, this has to do with the lack of fairness between giving and receiving, the excess on one side ends up causing serious damage to the relationship, to the point of destroying it.
Some people give too much. They exaggerate this behavior so much that they suffocate their partner with their care, attention and absolute availability, they do not let them help build the relationship.
At the same time, it is common for the person who gives the most to expect the other to do the same at some point, otherwise the person feels deceived and exhausted, a situation that also ends up spoiling love.
For love to be maintained, there must be a certain emptiness, some want to, because that is what fuels that person’s desire.
Similarly, there are those who just want to receive, are adults who do not expect to be loved but adopted by their partner, feel disabled and believe it is their partner’s obligation to compensate for their vulnerability. .
Psychological difficulties that cause relationship problems speak of incomplete individual processes.
Adult love requires generosity, maturity, patience and flexibility, all of which must be reciprocal for the relationship to be established and sustainable, otherwise even great loves end up succumbing to neurotic pollution.