Romantic love is one of humanity’s greatest lies, born of the exaggeration of the double model and the cover-up of defects by idealization, it is everywhere. Since we were a child, animated cinema has encouraged us to overcome adversity, and one of the most common prizes for successful characters is impeccable love, perpetuating the myths of romantic love.
The main problem of romantic love is the division of gender roles, turning men into actors and women into rewards, even if it does not seem so, this model is repeated in several books, films, series and other audiovisual products that we know and consume. Regularly.
- The following myths of romantic love are present in our daily lives and affect our relationships.
- Creating unreal and harmful expectations.
Since we saw our first princess film we think there is only one person for us, they project the idea that we are destined for that person and that when we find them we will be in love from the beginning, it will perfectly adapt to our personality and desires. We learn, therefore, that love must be exclusive and faithful, without prior experience.
Having different relationships, in many cases, helps us determine what we want and what we don’t want, it also offers advice on the topics on which we can negotiate or the danger of placing certain orders, this does not mean that it is necessary to have many partners, but that it is not necessary to have one.
Most stories, films and other audiovisual products refer to the omnipotence of love, love can overcome any obstacle, making our strength and resilience infinite, the problem is that there are many people who are violated their dignity and maintain the relationship attached to this idea.
Love can’t win everything. In fact, it is always a social construct that we can reject if it is not suitable for our professional, family or individual life, not everyone is prepared to have a lasting relationship, not everyone wants or is not prepared to have a single type of relationship. Relationship.
There are couples who live together. There are others who, although they can live together, are happy to preserve their space and therefore live in separate houses, there are couples who decide to try to overcome a certain obstacle and others who decide to separate, the truth is that they are all also respectable The most important thing is that everyone who has formed them or those who have formed them can remain happy.
This is one of the most dangerous myths. It has two components: one that is directly related to the omnipotence of love and the soul mate, and the other linked to change by love. The first aspect accepts differences in the belief that, in the end, love between the two overcomes obstacles.
In fact, a couple with very different opinions will constantly experience disagreements, discussions and conflicts. While criticism and debate in a couple is healthy, ongoing conflicts undermine a sense of unity and compatibility.
The second part is one of the most popular in literature, film and television. We all know stories in which a person (usually a woman) finds a couple who, a priori, do not suit him. This is when, instead of looking for someone more compatible, the person does their best to change the other person to form a relationship.
The truth is that people do not change so easily, the mistake in these cases is to love the person we project in the future, not the current one, it is with her with whom a relationship is initiated (or not).
Compatibility, tolerance and respect, coupled with a healthy attraction, give rise to a strong and lasting love (if that is what we are interested in). The attempt to reproduce external models, of people we do not know, generates unrealistic expectations in us. that, in the long run, will only frustrate us.