Romantic ruptures are often very difficult to cope with, even traumatic, for the parties involved; in fact, the relationship is one of the main concerns for many people around the world, it has become a dreaded territory, but also desired as a dimension. that many aspire to happiness.
It is not always that a couple sits down to talk about their problems and decides that it is time to end them, most of the riots are, to some extent, sudden for one of us, it is also common for them to be surrounded by conflicts confusion and doubt.
“In an argument, the hardest part is not defending our opinion, but knowing it. ” – André Maurois-
On countless occasions, breakups occur when there is still love in the relationship, it may not shine, it may not be like the first few days, but it is there, and the feeling strikes more intensely when it is finished and you can. Measure the void left by the other in your life.
It’s always best to prevent, especially if you really love your partner and want the relationship to last a long time, so it’s important that you stay vigilant and don’t let certain harmful agents start to deteriorate the relationship. , there are three involved in most romantic relationships.
Just as there is more praise at first, many couples get to a point where the opposite happens, what comes and goes is criticism. Many of these questions arise from a certain disappointment that arises when passion disappears and, with it, idealization.
Are there those who complain that your partner is not Prince Charming?Or? The enchanted princess he had fallen in love with. Basically, what these people criticize is that they didn’t correspond to the fantasy they had in mind. another “has changed. ” To some extent, they are disappointed to discover that the other was not half the orange they had dreamed of, but a human being with material needs and flaws that do not make him funny.
Criticism is more appropriate in other areas, such as professional or intellectual, in the world of the couple it is possible to live without them, you always have the option to accept the other or not. If you don’t let go but you don’t accept it, the weather can get very tense, many breakups between couples could be avoided if instead of fighting for the other to change, we work with ourselves to accept it. a difference between not showing that you love us and not doing it the way we would like, for example.
This type of behavior usually occurs when a previous conflict has not been resolved. All couples have problems. Everyone goes through situations that they have to forgive, but sometimes these episodes are not treated properly and that is, it continues to cause silent damage.
Defensive behaviors also occur when one is very insecure and develops a high dependence, both in this case and in the previous one, the following is hellish for both, the first feels threatened, real or imaginary. The second is an eternal suspect who begins to develop unfounded feelings of guilt or plays to control fear of the other.
In these conditions, the couple no longer feel united by the love, but by the conflict, of two people who must support and strengthen themselves, become a kind of undeclared enemies, distrust each other, protect themselves from their partner. At this point, it is ideal to face the problem to find the solution or decide on a break that can be very healthy for both.
Avoiding conflict is also defensive behavior, but it is expressed passively or latently. The prevailing logic is to ignore problems so as not to lead to discussions, distances or of course breakouts.
One of them may act incorrectly, carelessly or harmful to the other, however, whoever is the subject of all this remains silent. He says nothing because he knows that if he speaks, it can be the drop that spills out of the glass, causing separation, what unies them in this case is addiction and fear.
The worst thing is that as long as the conflict is avoided it does not go away, every time you leave a problem unresolved, it usually does not dilute, it grows, it usually appears a lot of anxiety, in addition to a great sadness or even a depression. Meanwhile, the central problem continues to get worse.
Keeping a couple together isn’t just about affection. Intelligence is needed to resolve the contradictions that always arise, if you want to keep love alive and avoid breakups, it is best to learn to communicate with love and candor at the same time, and abandon the fantasies of adolescence, which bring much more. suffering that satisfaction.
Images courtesy of Darek Puczel.