What do we do when an emotion arises in us that we consider negative?Feeling angry, frustrated or angry provokes in us an instinctive reaction of wanting to control how we feel, however, it is not uncommon for us to achieve the exact opposite. being aware of this and other emotional gears will allow us to dely into a wonderful path of emotional wisdom.
Through emotional wisdom we will be able to better manage our emotions, avoiding unnecessarily exploiting at times that are not appropriate and avoiding, in some cases, that we feel breathless by all these sensations present in us, like butterflies in the stomach of those of us. In love.
“Emotional wisdom determines our success in life. “- Daniel Goleman-
What did they tell you when you were little? He certainly recognizes phrases like, “Stop crying?”, “Doesn’t a kid your age have these tantrums?” look how ugly you are when you’re angry?All these seemingly innocent comments from parents have taught you to suppress your emotions.
In addition, you grew up under different influences that showed that men do not cry or that women are too sensitive, such beliefs, among many others, have led you to dissociate your expression from the emotions you feel.
It is important to know when to give carte blanche to how you feel, for example, if you are in the middle of a very important negotiation, letting go of your anger or crying uncontrollably will not be the best thing for the future of the agreement. This does not mean that you cannot evacuate afterwards or that you cannot express your irritation without compromising negotiation.
“We live in a society that does not educate us to be emotionally intelligent people. “- Daniel Goleman-
You can express your emotions correctly. If something is awkward, violent, angry or you just don’t agree, you can say it!With phrases like, did you say hurt me? You can release some of that emotion that has invaded you and provide valuable information to the other, which will include “I mustn’t go that way. “
Sometimes it’s not just that you don’t express your emotions with others, but you try to control them yourself when there’s nothing wrong with rushing. Have you ever tried to stop crying, even when you were home alone?If this is the case, you are trying to stop an emotion that would be better if you were free.
All this repression of the emotions we talked about in the previous point has resulted in what can be called “swallowing emotions”, something that emotional wisdom does not conceive of, the more swallows, the more they will accumulate, and sooner or later it will eventually go away. The result of this digestion is often a major disaster.
Certainly, you know someone, perhaps even yourself, who sometimes explodes (out of your mind) in inappropriate situations and does not deserve the level of aggression, anger or excessive sadness that the person presents, this is because you have kept and swallowed many emotions that have now overflowed from the glass.
A single trigger can cause everything you’ve been trying to control inside, but it’s ironically out of control. You’ll get hurt, you’ll suffer by becoming a repository of emotions that don’t make you feel good. It’s time to release them, when they need them.
Emotional wisdom not only offers you to stop imprisoning your emotions, but it focuses on something very important: learning to do this. Each emotion offers something: a teaching that must be interpreted before disappearing. In fact, once we listen to them and make ourselves available. To act, emotions often break down to give energy to our action.
Thus, it is not about treating them as enemies or placing them on the other side of the ring, if we design them that way the most logical thing is that they play that role, not because they have it, but because we have given it to them. They will do what we expect them to do. If we expect an irritation to ruin a party, it certainly will.
On the other hand, an emotion that is ignored can decrease in intensity, but by not resolving it we run the risk that it will reappear at any time. Stronger, more invasive, and when are we weaker?and more importantly, without having learned anything.
“When I express what I think and feel, I free my mind and heal my body. “
When we have been trying to control and imprison what we have been feeling for years, at the end of the day our body begins to give warning signs that something is wrong, that is, it adds emotions. Let’s not do this wrong, stop suffering and start expressing what we’re feeling when our emotions demand it. We’ll feel a lot better.
Images courtesy of Yassher Almajed.