Fighting the need for approval (and succeeding in this endeavor) can be one of the greatest favors we will do in life. This need can have several negative effects, such as moving away from the paths we really want to take. , a necessity or desire that we have all had in our lives to some extent.
As common as it is, and as much as it can sometimes be motivating to please others, it does not mean that the pursuit of approval cannot do us much harm, we must separate the desire not to offend from the desire to please, just as we must separate actions that please those around us and have nothing to do with our true desires from these actions that combine the two.
- Ending the need for approval is not an easy task we will do overnight.
- However.
- As the Eastern philosopher Lao-Tseu said.
- “a thousand-kilometre road begins with the first step.
- “While there are hundreds of actions that can help us in this task.
- Some of them are more effective.
- Read below:.
Let’s look at each of these points
The biggest obstacle you will face in the fight against the need for approval is precisely recognizing that this need motivates your behavior. Research indicates that most of us are unaware of everything we do to please others.
To get started, we suggest you do an auto-analysis exercise and identify how the need for approval affects your life. To do this, answer the following questions: What would you do differently if everyone wanted you to do what you want to do?If you were the last person alive on Earth, what would you spend your time on?If no one judged you, would you change anything in your life?
This type of question can help combat the need for approval by identifying what you’ve already done because you’re motivated by this type of need, so you can decide whether or not to continue certain habits, modify them, or eliminate them. .
Not knowing how to value oneself, as well as the feelings that arise from this devaluation of oneself, can lead us to an incessant search for the approval of others. When we have doubts about our value, the need for others to angry with their approval increases. The problem is that it often leads us to act in a way we don’t really like or don’t want.
In this way our self-esteem continues to declin – because we feel that we are living a life that is not ours, this can create a vicious circle, in which we feel increasingly sick not to act as we wish, and we seek the approval of others again.
However, if you work and are dedicated to boosting your self-esteem, you will realize that fighting the need for approval is an increasingly easy task. No matter how you want to do it, but loving yourself more must be the top priority of your life. Life.
“You love it like your life depends on it. Why, in fact, does it really depend? . – Kamil Ravikant-
One of the fundamental elements of a positive self-concept is having a place of internal control. This strange name refers to the belief that we have great power over what happens to us. Think, when something happens to you that you don’t like, do you blame someone else?Or something out, or, on the contrary, do you decide to take responsibility and work to change the situation?
If you have external control, that is, if you think your life depends on factors you can’t act on, you’re more likely to need the approval of others to feel good, so increasing your sense of control will move your gaze more. inwards and less towards others. Think about what’s going on, there’ll always be someone who doesn’t approve of your actions. So there’s no reason to worry about what others think of you. There’s no control over that.
Once you decide to take charge of your life, fighting the need for approval becomes extremely easy. At the end of the day, when we do what we want to do, external opinions don’t make any difference.
These three keys to combating the need for approval reinforce each other, so choose the one you want to start working on in your personal development, in a short time you will realize that what others think of you is no longer such an important factor in your decisions.