Handling anger inappropriately is a custom that can have disastrous consequences, anger is one of those invasive emotions that often leads us to be wrong, we end up talking or doing something that hurts us and/or harms the people we love.
Unfortunately, anger is sometimes perceived in a more or less positive way. The screaming boss or the strict parent may believe that his outbursts of humor are a sign of seriousness or commitment.
- However.
- Uncontrolled anger generates virtually nothing positive.
- On the contrary.
- It hurts.
- Hurts and ends up generating more anger and resentment in others.
- So it is so important to learn to deal with anger.
It’s not about not feeling it, because anger, like all emotions, is a legitimate reaction in many cases, the important thing is not to let it take over, that is, not let emotion dictate what needs to be done. Next, we’ll introduce four inappropriate ways to deal with anger.
“Rage: an acid that can do more damage to the container in which it is stored than to everything thrown at it. “- Seneca-
Absolute moderation is never a valid way to deal with anger or other emotions. Denying how you feel, imprisoning, avoiding, or trying to ignore what you are feeling is not appropriate. No repression is positive.
This energy that we intend to suffocate inside always comes back in the form of another physical or psychological symptom, so it is best not to bite your lip and try to move on as if nothing.
What we can do is think first to avoid one of these outbursts of anger from occurring, thus preventing them from turning against us or those we love, serenity will give way to a more conducive scenario for the expression of emotion.
One of the consequences of suppressing the energy that accompanies anger is that it finally erupts in us, emotions do not dilute and do not disappear on their own, when we do not manage them they end up becoming undesirable, it is common for this rage that we keep, later, to become an assault on ourselves.
Depression often covers repressed anger, anger is there, but instead of addressing the person who provoked it, it turns against us, it is at this point that recriminations and resentment appear.
Migraines, dizziness, and other physical symptoms may also occur. We must not lose sight of the origin of anger. What brought this feeling to light?
Passive-aggressive attitudes are those in which words, gestures or actions denote anger, but anger is not expressed directly, on the contrary, it is hidden.
Ornaments or veils are placed to mitigate anger, but do not channel or resolve it. The most typical example is indirect. The person says, but doesn’t say.
Handling anger in this way is not appropriate because it creates confusion for both you and others. The person cannot openly express his discomfort, but he is not completely silent either.
The problem is that this can lead to an unnecessary extension of the conflict or new sources of problems.
Anger sometimes creates completely irrational networks of aggression. Suppose a boss is somehow upset about his employee. She doesn’t respond, but when she talks to her boyfriend, she gets upset and recriminates for no reason. The groom doesn’t answer, but he’s got something, annoyance in him. Then he goes home and is too bigoted with his younger brother, with whom he ends up screaming. The child does not respond, but plays abruptly with the animal to soothe the anger he feels.
In this way a circle of aggressions is formed, without at any time the feeling is handled properly, someone who is completely innocent may end up suffering the consequences of emotional misery, which, as you can see, this deteriorates ties without need.
Learning to manage anger is very important for creating healthy environments and more constructive relationships. It is always appropriate to express our discomfort to the person who caused it. Openly express that we reject unfair treatment without regard or disrespect.
Do it after regaining composure? If it’s impossible to talk, put everything on paper, no filters?It’s a big help.