If we can establish healthy, firm and clear limits, we will promote our mental health, not only that, but our interpersonal relationships will improve by clearly raising what is allowed and what is not allowed, in addition this daily exercise allows us to clarify Identity, values and exercise of a very effective assertiveness with which we feel safe in any situation.
However, some people note that personal boundaries are a two-way street, as people clearly identify and know their direction, others will follow their own path with millimeter respect, but, as we well know, this is not always the case.
- Although we do not like it.
- There will always be this type of skillful profile when it comes to invading other people’s spaces and questioning the psychological and emotional limits.
- So it is not enough to define these personal barriers.
- It is also necessary to know how to maintain them.
- Achieving this goal is essential for other investments in our mental health to bear fruit.
That’s what Edward T told us in his time. Hall and Robert Sommer, anthropologists and psychiatrists pioneering the study of personal space, research that began in 1969, talked about the boundaries within which a person is contained resides more than physical territory.
It is a place where we feel protected mentally, physically and emotionally, it is a refuge that no one can violate with your comments or your behavior, however surprising it may seem, what these experts have revealed to us is that in our in everyday life, it is common to circumvent these borders, those barriers that we do not always protect with the attention and resources they need to avoid falling. Let’s see how to do it next.
“Good fences make good neighbors. ” -Robert Frost-
Honesty is an attitude that encompasses true intent and transparency, nothing is more necessary to reach firm and secure personal limits than to include it in our own attitudes or provisions, for this we must take into account:
Similarly, sound limits require update and maintenance work. It’s not worth giving in, it’s not worth leaving an open space where blackmail comes in and a request is made for which we say ‘yes’, when it should have been ‘right?’Resounding.
Microagresions are like drops of cyanide that we end up diluting in our day to day almost without realizing it. It’s that sarcastic phrase from a friend. In turn, it is also this sexist commentary, “but funny”, that makes us laugh at a colleague. Is this mockery camouflaged by the affection of our partner or even this comment from our mother that does not hesitate to judge us?
All these examples are, in fact, the subtle bites of daily microgreagresion. If we give in to these small attacks one after the other, if these small thorns sting us day by day, there will also come a time when pain and we must not allow this, it is necessary to establish solid and firm limits where aggression does not enter, regardless of its magnitude.
We all demand respect for others. But do we respect each other?Surprisingly, not always.
This task, that of self-knowledge, belongs only to us, so if we demand respect for others, let us begin by respecting and hearing that inner voice to know what we need.
It’s often hard to say, isn’t it? That close person because we have an emotional connection to her. Dimensions such as closeness, friendship, affection or simple respect for someone involve a difficulty in setting healthy and firm limits. Almost not knowing how, we finally reeded and said, “Okay?when it should have been a ‘no’. So we ended up figuring out how some people are violating our borders.
We need to know clearly: the best muscle to create a safe psychic space is detachment, it’s about making a distance between feelings or emotional loyalties in relation to our identity and our real needs, at the same time we can’t ignore something obvious: those who really respect us will never dare to cross or violate our emotional and psychological boundaries.
In conclusion, when it comes to setting healthy limits, we must first focus all the work inside: on ourselves. Self-knowledge, self-esteem, personal responsibility and detachment are the essential ingredients with which we can create an intruder-proof safe haven. Peace.