Eliminating emotional dependence is possible, but to do so you have to make the decision to change, so that you can have a better quality of life, people who suffer from excessive attachment do not fully appreciate relationships, get too attached and lose their individuality. The percentage of people with this problem are women, although there are also men who suffer exactly like women, but with the disadvantage of being more ashamed to assume and seek psychological help, they feel that their masculinity can be questioned, when in Reality it will not happen. Low self-esteem can lead to the problem of addiction, regardless of a person’s gender.
There’s no dependence on couples alone, can it happen to anyone?Friends, family and people around you. Below is a list of situations to assess if you have this problem A person with an unhealthy attachment is characterized by:
- ? His misfortune focuses on one person.
- He loves nothing more than being with those he loves or loves very much.
? Your joy depends on how others treat you and what they think of you. If you feel accepted, you’re fine, but if you feel bad or have bad opinions about yourself, you fall into immense disaster. It depends a lot on others to feel good or bad.
? It avoids at all costs to go against an opinion to avoid confusion, the fear of disturbing or being scolded takes care of those who suffer emotional dependence.
? This makes the desire of others prepend with your own desire, you feel as if you have no capacity to make decisions, your life is carried by others.
? You only feel good about yourself if you feel loved: if no one loves you, you feel empty and without self-esteem, everyone would like to have someone special in life, but what sets a dependent person apart from a person who has a healthy relationship is that when he’s alone he can even miss him, but that doesn’t stop him from enjoying other aspects of his life. A dependent person can never be alone, is depressed, their self-esteem decreases and they cannot enjoy life.
? The feeling of guilt constantly accompanies the addict, feels responsible for the happiness of others, whether it’s his partner, a family member, friends, etc. , you feel compelled to make others happy, and if you don’t, you feel guilty.
? Fear is your business constantly: fear of losing a person who loves you or loves you so much, is such an intense fear that it prevents you from maintaining healthy relationships.
? He easily falls into emotional blackmail: he can’t bear to be guilty of someone’s pain, he sacrifices himself to make others happy.
? He’d rather suffer than leave the person he’s related to, he doesn’t have the strength to cut off contact because he doesn’t even feel able to follow a different path than he loves.
? The presence of the other is necessary for life to make sense, it needs them to show that they care in the same way that they care for themselves, if the object of addiction does not act as the intended addict, anger appears. a lifetime.
? He wants to control each other’s lives, make sure he’s not abandoned, he becomes some kind of spy, he even wants to listen to his conversations with other people, you become obsessed, you stop living your life to live his, make sure there’s no evidence that he’ll no longer be interested in you. If you realize that there is a risk of abandonment, you can even stop being who you really are and do things you don’t like just to please.
? This person is so centralized in your life that your friends and others are no longer important. There’s a tendency to social isolation, it just feels good if you’re with the person and the more time you spend with them, the better.
? The relationship generates anxiety, we are never happy because we want more and more, and our greatest fear is abandonment, it would be a disaster, because we cannot imagine our life without a certain person.
Once you have recognized the problem, you must be convinced of the desire to eliminate emotional dependency from your life. Make a list of the things that you have done for someone that have hurt you. Be aware that a dependent person does it. he does not care about his own well-being, he prefers to please the other so as not to lose him, if you want to change the first thing you should do is think of yourself before others, let your well-being be the main part of your life.
Have you done anything for her and you’re hurt?Examples: Have you left friends, family, activities, fissies, studies, personal development, etc. ?Have you been treated with the respect you deserve?You think you asked for love or love and failed?Besides enjoying life with this person, did you also enjoy other things?Can they be aficiones, friendships, etc. ? Have you endured much negativity just so as not to be abandoned ?, it is important that you are aware of the suffering that you have lived as a dependent person, think of all the negativity that this relationship has brought you, in this way you will feel more willing to change and eliminate emotional dependence.
The main factor in any addiction is low self-esteem, there are many options to increase it, from seeking professional help to bibliotherapy, there are many interesting books about self-esteem in libraries, imagine that you will study for an exam, find out everything you can about how to increase and improve self-esteem, and read books that seem interesting. You will come out with the knowledge and knowledge of one of the options presented above.
Life is more beautiful with love, but it’s healthier when you’re okay with yourself. We can’t maintain a healthy relationship if we don’t grow up as people. When you love yourself and don’t need anyone else, you’re ready to love others in a healthy way. Would everyone like to have the perfect match, a person to love?But one thing is ‘necessity’ and a completely different ‘desire’. When you need it, it doesn’t work because you don’t love yourself and therefore you can’t love others in a mature and healthy way. There are countless things to do!Develop your skills, cultivate your future, spend time leisure, make friends, travel, look around and enjoy the little things. And above all, take care and love yourself as you deserve.