Ana just walked into a bar. It’s his first blind date and he doesn’t know how to do it. She doesn’t know who she’ll find, but she’s also nervous because she doesn’t know if the other will find her attractive, if she can please him. He certainly won’t ask openly, and even if he did, the other might be lying. So what to do to find out?
Let’s give Ana. De hand how you should be careful to know if your companion’s attention has awakened, in fact it is better that these are aspects that the other cannot handle, besides, it is important that this information is true.
- We will tell Ana that we will be at a secluded table.
- Secretly watching the conversation.
- After a reasonable time.
- She will go to the bathroom and we will go talk to her.
- The door opens and the first encounter.
- Begins.
The first sign of a conversation is influence. With this term, we mean the dimension that a person reaches when he is able to adapt the conversation with his interlocutor, that is, that the person turns the conversation into a pleasant ‘talk’ to talk about topics that please both people. , influence is an indicator of power over the conversation and the person leads it easily, talking about various topics and asking smart questions.
For example, parents influence when children start talking; they say a word and wait patiently for the child to repeat or answer it. on the other hand, influence and power over a conversation requires mental effort.
So, if our friend Ana’s partner makes this effort, it means she’s interested in this meeting, was there another explanation for investing as many resources in the conversation as your interest in Ana?
Otherwise, it would be a sign that the companion is not interested, shy or prefers to be careful. To find out if there is interest or not, we will see the following signs around sincere communication.
When we are interested in a conversation something very curious happens: we tend to repeat the gestures of the person we are talking to, if there is a connection and we touch our ears, there is a good chance that our interlocutor will do the same. It is also a way of seeing influence: generally, the one who makes the gestures before influence, and who repeats them is the one who is influenced.
If there is no mimicry in gestures, it will be a sign of lack of interest, so if Anne’s quote does not try to influence and is not influenced, she is probably not interested in it and her mind is concentrated at Monday’s planning meeting. .
On the other hand, mimicry is not only a sign of interest, but also a feeling with which we feel comfortable, it is a sign of synchronization and adjustment, since the elements of the conversation fit.
This can be the level of body activity (mimicry) or the speed and tone of the voice itself. One of the signs is a symptom of commitment to conversation and therefore interest. Think about what happens to you when you’re so happy. Are you calm?
No, of course not. In fact, there is a popular phrase that rightly says “jump for joy. “So if we notice that Ana’s partner is moving her arms inaccurately and somewhat uncoordinated, it’s another sign of interest that we’ll add to our list. Then, with all these notes, we’ll take stock and give our verdict.
Consistency is linked to the holistic analysis of Ana’s companion’s behavior, how verbal and nonverbal languages are synchronized, and even their different aspects, a happy person speaks louder than usual while moving a lot, it is a kind of sincere expression of your feelings.
Otherwise, it’s a sign of concealment. In this case, simulating an interest would be a way of trying to maintain social and educational protocol; or try to hide interest, so as not to be vulnerable to a stranger.
Another important aspect of consistency is related to behavior change over time and not to different ways of expressing yourself at the same time, for example, there may be changes in the tone and volume of the voice in a conversation, it is a natural process, and if not, it may indicate that there is excessive control over communication or that it is not of interest to both.
We identify the four sources of information and take notes for each of them based on our observation, so we can already tell Anne more about her escort during this first meeting, she may surprise us, because although Anne has not studied these signs before, we often unconsciously assess the situation correctly.
We are so good at interpreting this type of information that when we are presented to someone, we quickly make an assessment that can be good or bad, we may or may not be right, but in any case, it’s information we use every day. in our lives.