Emotional intelligence is an increasingly appreciated skill, it has gradually been proven that it is essential to have a good existence, those who develop it do better in all walks of life and are also happier.
On the other hand, the lack of emotional intelligence carries several complications, no matter if you are able to solve a great physics riddle, if you finally get frustrated, what a difference it makes if you manage to make a lot of money, but it is ultimately linked to anxiety or sadness.
“Emotional intelligence accounts for 80% of success in life. “- Daniel Goleman-
Being emotionally intelligent does not mean being the most sympathetic or the most popular, this skill is actually related to self-control and self-confidence, attitudes that are cultivated internally, but that are reflected in external behaviors and lead to more assertive actions.
However, some features of lack of emotional intelligence are fairly common, you find them in your daily life, and they belong to both seemingly successful people and those who don’t do so well. Here are five of these common traits that denote a lack of emotional intelligence.
Some people get very nervous if someone doesn’t immediately understand what they’re saying, the worst thing is that they end up mad at you. Phrases like “Is it so hard to understand?” Or “Does anyone understand that?”In this way, you go from a tense situation to an aggression.
This trait reveals that the person is very rigid and probably self-centered, they are the ones who do not understand that there are different ways of processing and assimilating information, nor do they consider the possibility that their way of explaining is what is wrong. They end up suffering from a situation that could be perfectly resolved with a few minutes of patience.
There’s a big difference between laughing with people and laughing at people, anyone who’s developed their emotional intelligence knows this difference, but not only that, they can also feel when a joke makes them uncomfortable.
If emotional intelligence is not applied, here too many end up blaming others, if they can’t stand the taunt it’s because they are?Or hypersensitive. It doesn’t occur to you that your jokes aren’t as funny or offending. Or just that others are different and don’t have to celebrate all your jokes.
Throughout our development, we all conform to what we call a ‘belief system‘, ideas that arise from education, experience and personality, we have created a concept of reality that serves as a frame of reference.
However, in some cases, this belief system can also become a shell, in these circumstances the worldview is not the result of personal elaboration, but of unresolved neurosis, so any contrary opinion is considered a threat, before considering whether it is valid or not.
There are difficulties that are strictly individual, but others that are shared by the couple, team or family. Sometimes in these groups, there are people who, when something goes wrong, blame others.
It’s a remnant of child insecurity. The person first thinks that a mistake is a terrible thing; and second, that the goal is to determine who is to blame, not what fails; if there is greater emotional development, error is considered normal that, well understood, can be the best stimulant for growth, and instead of looking for the culprits, they seek causes and solutions.
Most of us spend most of our lives at work; this is a reality that we cannot ignore. While it is not the only aspect of our existence, it is the one that requires the most time and effort, and it is not good to see it only as a burden.
Any job, however humble or difficult, brings some gain to those who do. When we come to the conclusion that it is a hateful job, which we do not support, there is no reason to stay there. Everyone must commit to finding and finding a job. work that allows them to evolve in one way or another.
Emotional intelligence is something that can develop. For some it’s harder than for others. But the thing is, all human beings have the right and duty to try to live better. Therefore, it is worth striving to increase the rate of intelligence we put into all our actions.