David Levithan once said, “Narcissism, couldn’t you believe I didn’t have a full-body mirror?In reality, narcissism and self-esteem seek to legitimize being. Therefore, it is easy to confuse these two terms. However, there are some differences.
Why do so many people confuse them so easily?It’s simple: if narcissism investigates through a good image, self-esteem does so by simple, unconditional existence.
- Following the reasoning with which we started this article.
- We can add that narcissism and self-esteem are opposite ingredients in the motivations and forms they generate.
- So think two of the psychologists who worked on this topic: Pilar Mallor and Manuel Villegas.
In his research we find clear differences between narcissism and self-esteem, although there are behaviors that can be attributed to both origins, so how can we differentiate the two modalities into one person?We will discover some points that clearly distinguish them.
The main difference between the narcissistic person and the person with good self-esteem is self-image, that is, the first has an exaggerated and distorted importance, the second has a much more interior satisfaction, less inflated and better argued.
That is, the narcissist seeks well-being and safety through an exaggerated image, which is actually a distorted self-perception, which shows a real inner void in which an insurgized person hides.
On the other hand, a person who has good self-esteem bases his well-being on satisfactory relationships, and does not give his image more importance than he actually has. Because this is a confident profile, you don’t need to exaggerate or emphasize successes against others; you just like to celebrate them.
“Don’t you think it’s strange when someone has pictures of themselves everywhere?Is it like they’re trying to prove their existence? -Candance Bushnell-
A person with high self-esteem is affirmed. She knows how to listen, respond and choose the moments to speak, in fact, he does it with knowledge and always adding value to his intervention, that is, she has an emotional and social intelligence. In addition, it enjoys the patience that gives you the security that, in turn, you will be able to express your opinion.
However, the narcissistic profile, given his exaggerated cult of image, needs attention, that is, he will always try to be the center of attention, so that everyone knows that he is there, needs a constant cult of himself on the part of others.
One detail that differentiates narcissists from people with good self-esteem is their capacity for empathy, precisely because the person with good self-esteem can develop in social interaction the patience we talk about, essential for active listening.
While a narcissist thinks only of himself and his image, a person with good self-esteem is better positioned to connect with others, since your attention is not occupied by the need to please, you can use it to put yourself in the shoes of others, which will facilitate the understanding of different points of view, ideologies and feelings.
Selfishness is another key one by which we can differentiate a narcissist from a person with good self-esteem. It’s easy to think that someone who only thinks about himself loves himself, but in reality this love he projects is so full of doubt that he ends up being his worst enemy.
While a person with high self-esteem knows when and how to be generous and cooperative, the narcissist is unable, if you don’t get any benefit, it will be difficult to make the effort.
“What makes the pain of jealousy so acute is that vanity cannot help but sustain it. “Stendhal-
Arrogance would be the fifth difference between narcissistic people and people with good self-esteem. While the first group shows no compassion for anyone but perhaps themselves, people who truly love each other have this virtue and know the beautiful challenge of helping others.
The narcissist, in his pride, tends to be aggressive, envious and in need of mastering to feel good, will hardly accept criticism and, however neutral, tend to take them personally, not for good. He will hardly learn from his mistakes, because he finds it very difficult to perceive them and, above all, accept them.
A narcissistic person and a person with good self-esteem, at first, can be very similar, however, when time passes and begins to give coherence to the two personalities, we see how this similarity between narcissism and self-esteem is diluted as mirage. water in front of an oasis.