The psychological abuser is not always easy to identify. There is a belief that they can only harm us when they physically attack us, the problem is that there are pain specialists without even hitting, pushing or using any object, but they do as much or more damage than those who physically attack.
Machismo, intimidation, discrimination? There are countless reasons why a person feels entitled to mistreat those he considers most vulnerable, is one of the strongest expressions of inequality and obviously has to do with the ideal of success and the permanent competence in which we live.
“Psychological violence makes you useless in your mind. “-Ana Isabel Gutierrez Salegui-
They’re anywhere or where. In family life, in relationships, with friends, at school, in college, at work, there is no way out. They are there and it is not possible to avoid their presence, what we can do is identify them according to their characteristics, so it is important to be attentive and know how to interpret the true intentions of a person.
While there are no defined criteria between psychologists and researchers on the subject, the aggressor psychologist is far from mentally ill, in most cases it simply hurts to exert the power he has over the other, so there are striking characteristics that define that.
That’s five of them
The aggressor accepts no difference. Yours is the only possible world and does not value that of others, in your relationships with the opposite sex you always consider the other as inferior, they are cases of machismo or feminism taken to the extreme.
He treats others according to the characteristics attributed to him by society, if he shares them he will address only those who identify with him, otherwise he will distance himself and adopt attitudes of rejection, let himself be carried away by social prejudices. That’s why it’s common to see him discriminating and having little respect for the different ones.
The aggressor thinks and acts as if he possesses the truth, he is not interested in the reasons of others. He tends to impose his ideas regardless of the context in which he is in, when making agreements he does not give in a millimeter because he believes that his views should be accepted.
A psychological abuser believes he dominates all situations and is always right; others are always wrong and their outliers are false because they are atypical; is a negative leader who always intends to appear, manipulate and be the center of attention.
For a person with this psychological setting, there is only black and white. It does not support any nuance of any kind. The above fact prevents you from forgiving, considering the circumstances of someone who has made a mistake or who is simply unable to acknowledge their own mistakes.
For this aggressor, the phrase “the distance between love and hate is just a step” goes like a glove. This is how life is conceived: as two extremes that, in contact, cause terrible shocks. Things are going well or wrong; there is truth or lies; Win or lose. React according to the principles with which you understand life.
He is the kind of person who has a hard time dealing with his emotions, if you fail to do it again, if on the contrary he succeeds, then he believes that he has reached heaven with his hands, everything extreme is deceptive, popular wisdom says. But the psychological aggressor welcomes extremism and even applies it to himself.
True self-criticism is not in them and, at the same time, they judge themselves harshly, but superficially, they tend to depress easily and often fall into deep chasms from which no one has the ability to save them. resulting from their low self-esteem, leading them to remain in a state of permanent anxiety and tend to present thee as victims.
As long as they earn their victim’s trust, they behave like the best people in the world. It is difficult for the people around you to discover your true intentions. The psychological aggressor is an actor worthy of winning all the awards. His charisma is amazing and wherever he goes, he is always very nice to people.
Even when you take off your mask and expose your real face, other people (especially the victim) refuse to believe they are facing an abuser. It turns out that frustration is so great that some people may never be able to accept this terrible and disconcerting truth.
Despite all these traits, the psychological abuser usually has a life full of suffering, your worst punishment is that you can’t really love anyone, so there’s loneliness and emptiness in your daily life, he’s also a victim of himself.
Images courtesy of Chris Missety, Tree Sisters