Erich Fromm was one of the first to say that love is also something you learn, it’s not enough to feel, because it also takes a kind of ‘literacy’ for it to take shape. That’s why there are people who know how to love in a relationship and others who love her very much, but don’t know how to do it.
It’s not just a word game. People who know how to love are able to build stronger and more lasting relationships. Those who simply feel, even with great intensity, sometimes can’t make things work.
They forget that everything has to do not with feelings, but also with judgment.
“The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge. “- Bertrand Russell-
People who know how to love are aware of what this feeling entails, so they just don’t let it flow. They enrich you with attitudes and values.
Here are some of the traits or characteristics that set them apart
The word trust is not always well understood. It’s not about blindly believing in each other, it’s about expecting the best of them, people who know how to love and trust their partner, they think they can always get their best version.
Trust is also expressed as the peace of mind that results from the ability to show themselves to the other without inhibitions or reservations, they expect the other to accept them, and not to question who they are, think or say.
There’s no love if there’s no respect. Respect has to do with the ability to accept others as they are. With the explicit goal of not doing or saying something to change it, so that it ceases to be what it is.
When there is respect, self-protection and one protects the other’s, the couple has their own life, their own world, and the fact that there is a bond of love does not mean that they have to change, it also means treating the other person with the consideration they deserve.
People who know how to love are ready to accompany and be accompanied. They give the loved one a place in his time, in his projects and in his activities. Also, of course, in your feelings. That’s why they also share what’s in their inner world.
At this point, it is important to emphasize the relevance of sharing quality time, it is not just about spending a lot of time together, in this case these are moments that dedicate the same exclusively to each other.
No matter if there are children, demanding work or essential commitments, the one who loves always looks for a time to share specifically with his partner.
People who know how to love understand that dialogue is fundamental to having a good relationship, love is basically composed of conversations. It’s not about superficial conversations, it’s about the ability to really express what you think, how you feel, what you dream, etc.
Dialogue gives rise to a better knowledge and understanding of the other, represents the ability to communicate, but also to listen.
It is essential to connect effectively with the feelings and needs of the other. Dialogue is a fundamental part of the subjective encounter between two people who love each other.
You can love a person very much, but it makes sense that that person does not always bring out their kindest or nicest appearance, there are days when the couple is in a bad mood, shows their insecurities or becomes intolerant with certain aspects. People don’t always behave the way we want them to behave.
It is at this time, more than at any other time, when the person needs the patience of his partner, of course, she is neither angry nor irritated by pleasure, it only takes a little time to face an experience or situation that is very intense right now.
People who know how to love understand that they have to work for the relationship, a love is not only a matter of butterflies in the stomach, nor of romantic illusions, it also requires dedication, willpower and common sense, only then it lasts in time and enrich life.