As for the aggressions, two types stand out: open and covert. In the first case (open aggression), aggressive behavior occurs directly and palpably: full light is evident.
In the second case (hidden aggression), aggressive behavior is presented in a more subtle, hidden or, in other words, camouflaged and misleading manner; that is, it implies a high degree of manipulation.
“There are three main poisons: passion, aggression and ignorance. ?Pema Chedron-
The essential difference between the two lies in the way the true intentions of the person who provokes the aggressive act are manifested, below are five signs that identify hidden aggression.
This is perhaps the most obvious form of undercover assault, the most common way to rape another person, because it falsies, to a greater or lesser degree, a truth about you.
If the person hides something from someone, either speaking or keeping a secret, it can be out of fear or out of desire not to face a reality, this happens without the other person’s permission or consent, so it is attacked. seriously or mildly, depending on the size of the lie.
When the truth is known, it often results in a conflict, with which it is discovered that there was indeed aggression; otherwise, there would be no room for misunderstandings.
There are situations in which the truth is greater than us and ends up surpassing us, it is a vicious circle that governs a myriad of social relations and gradually deteriorates them, to the point of destroying them.
This happens when we put ourselves in the role of “victim” in any conflict situation. We feel or want to feel that we are the subject of an “injustice” that comes from the other person or the group of people involved in the conflict.
This is a typical way to escape our responsibility, because by placing ourselves in a context of vulnerability and helplessness, the only way we consider it possible to “win” the dispute is to introduce guilt; guilt that ends up being more direct than the acts themselves.
The motto or scenario is: showing me, consciously or unconsciously, as one?Sacrificed, under the circumstances, others will feel compassion for me and satisfy even the dumbest desires.
Paradoxically, the weaker becomes stronger: he becomes stronger in his weakness than the strong in his strength. Making us feel guilty obviously “works,” and it’s a secret way to attack others as they are manipulated.
This occurs when we minimize one person’s human scope or condition, perhaps to feel more than the other person or to ridicule the other, concealing one’s possible rejection or resentment for him. It is a superb power that is exercised over a weakness, a weakness. error or deficiency.
Every time we embarrass the other person, we transmit it aggressively and even murderedly, it is because of the need to feel better than others, or because you reject the other person, even in various situations, for both reasons.
For example, when you make fun of someone in public, making fun of that person, it may even seem like a simple joke, but perhaps the real context of things can be much bigger: the real intention may be to pass over someone to attack. Substantially.
It is when we flatter or impress others to achieve our goals: we take advantage of any weakness, usually related to an individual’s ego, to achieve any goal.
Aggression is not in any detail that we may have with someone, but in playing with someone else’s feelings to disguise a particular situation, in order to achieve a dark or selfish ending.
Ambivalence? From one’s ego and the external ego, as it will most likely start with a lie in which the other person believes; or even, I start from one supposed truth that the other oversizes.
Without a doubt, an absurd game that will not succeed and in which everyone will lose. Obviously, secret aggression comes, once again, through intent, manipulation and, therefore, the use of people as objects or means to achieve any purpose.
In the latter case, although the person is present physically, mentally, cognitively or emotionally, he seems to be far from the situation of conflict, in an obvious behavior of “nothing matters to me”, that is, “can you leave with your opinions or complaints elsewhere ?.
This behavior is reflected, among other attitudes, in silence, by looking fat and not directly towards the person, in the discomfort of listening and paying attention to what he is saying, or simply when dealing with the issue of controversy with very short sentences. , which say little and do not contain any arguments.
Finally, in this scenario of undercover assault, can it be said that one’s conduct?Good manipulator? Anyone who manipulates hides something and probably needs something they can’t or won’t accomplish on their own.
Images courtesy of Jennifer Healy.