Alcoholic parents leave many marks on their children’s minds, it is always necessary to observe the particularities of each case, since the effects depend on the severity of alcohol dependence and its manifestations, the age of the children, the position of the rest of the family. and other factors.
However, there are common patterns in the children of alcoholic parents, and what varies is their intensity, these children almost always grow up in an environment where chaos predominates, their way of being and seeing the world is imbued with their parents’ experiences with alcoholism and all this leaves a mark on how they relate to emotions.
Consciousness is soluble in alcohol. “Riane Eisler?
These marks are difficult for both alcoholic parents and their children to detect, are discreetly established in personality and often translate into seemingly positive attitudes, but deep down there is an open wound that sooner or later needs to be examined and healed.
These are the 5 emotional marks left in the hearts of the children of alcoholic parents.
An alcoholic father is, in any case, father, that is why he represents for his children the model of what he represents to be an adult, but the alcoholic is unpredictable: today he can be a very affectionate father and tomorrow he can become a strange being, who frightens and confuses his son. Children never know what to expect from him.
As a result, the children of alcoholic parents have difficulty understanding what normal behavior is, that is, non-pathological behavior, that is precisely why they have a poor criterion for defining what they can and cannot afford to do. time.
This anxious and unhealthy instability increases the likelihood that the child will also become an unstable person, it is difficult for him to make an effort to carry out his projects: in the end, he has already used much of his psychological energy to try to understand. and manage the extreme uncertainty that exists in their own lives.
The son of an alcoholic father carries in his heart a diffuse feeling of guilt and a feeling of incapacity that he cannot define. Guilt comes because you don’t know the extent to which your father’s alcoholism is your responsibility. You wonder: should I do it or have I done anything about it?
The feeling of inability arises from the same topic, basically I would like to do or have done something to change the situation, but I never knew how I could contribute. Then it becomes a dull rejection of oneself. In the same way, they see having fun with a certain danger: does your father have fun or not when he is in a crisis of alcoholism?
The children of alcoholic parents experience a sense of pathological loyalty, saw their father in a state of decay and this causes them pain, but also fear. They are often asked or even asked not to discuss these family situations with anyone.
That’s why many of them grow up thinking that blind loyalty is a value they must defend, regardless of circumstances, they feel they have to endure anything when they relate to someone they love, they also believe that others should do the same to them.
Changes pose a threat to the children of alcoholic parents, who have spent their entire lives in a constant swing, not knowing where it would lead them, so if they achieve stability they will obsessively defend it. the changes will come from the chaos they fear so much.
In turn, they develop little control over their emotions, basically they think that we all have a pirate license to unleash any impulse: isn’t that what you’ve seen so many times at home?so difficult for them to internalize more specific and rational behaviors. In all cases, when the mark is deep, the children of alcoholic parents should receive professional psychological treatment.
Images of Ellen Mikhail, Clark Melhbourn.