Epithet was a Greek philosopher who, for much of his life, was a slave in Rome. It is unclear when he was released, but he has earned a great reputation, perhaps because, although a slave, he concentrated on the pursuit of happiness. and well-being For this reason, we have compiled a few phrases from Epithetus that helped him in his worst moments and that can also help us.
The philosophical current followed by Epithet was stoic. That is why the happiness he spoke of is known as udaimonia, which is achieved by carrying out activities according to deep values and establishing a total commitment.
Let’s see below what we can extract from their phrases to manage our suffering.
“It’s not the things that happen to us that make us suffer, but what do we tell ourselves about these things?
The first of Epithet’s phrases to stop suffering speaks of two actions that we unconsciously realize most of the time: one is the negative way we talk to each other, and the other is the story we build from what we have lived. .
For example, after a conversation with an unknown person, can you say “I acted like a fool, I responded absurdly, I don’t know how to behave with others,” yet what happened was not the trigger for our discomfort, but what we tell ourselves about how we acted.
The important thing is to be attentive, to observe how we talk and how we sometimes distort reality, so that we can be more compassionate to ourselves.
“Compared to everything that exists in the world, some depend on us, some don’t.
On many occasions we may suffer and feel bad about not being able to do anything with our environment, for example, if we have a friend who is in a relationship that involves abuse but cannot see, we can feel helpless and suffer for the person. we love so much But no matter what energy we spend, we can’t help what you choose.
The most important thing, as Epithet reminds us, is to realize that there are certain circumstances that do not depend on us, we can choose how to act, but it is not up to us to decide how others will do it. and accepting this fact will allow us to get rid of a lot of suffering.
“If they say bad things about you and it’s true, correct yourself. If it’s a lie, are you laughing?”
This third sentence of the epithet to stop suffering speaks of the importance we usually attach to what others say about us, however, it is important to act wisely and wisely in these situations, if they speak ill and are right, for example, if they say we are liars, that we have to correct our behavior. Sometimes what they say about us can help us see mistakes we’re not aware of.
However, what if what they say is not true ? in this case we can try to clarify the situation, but it is also necessary to know when to stop and move forward, we should not take seriously what we know to be false. Hurtful attitude can lead us to hear phrases like “if it bothers you, is it true?” Therefore, sometimes having a sense of humor can be fundamental.
“The opinions and problems of others can be contagious. Don’t you unintentionally sabotage yourself by adopting negative and unproductive attitudes through your friendship with others?
Another of Epithet’s phrases to stop suffering is related to the people around us, often we cannot choose who lives with us, like our peers, so we must keep our eyes open and see if we are infected with the attitudes and even thoughts of the people around us.
Surrounding ourselves with negative people can lead us to observe our environment in a very pessimistic way almost without realizing it, so paying attention to this aspect can help us not to be contaminated with the problems and negative attitudes of others.
“In your own misfortunes, you must remember the state according to which we look at others. “
The last of Epithet’s phrases to stop suffering leaves us with a very wise teaching. When we look at other people’s problems, we tend to put them in perspective or see a clear solution. For example, before someone is abused, we can immediately say, ‘Why don’t you go and end the relationship?’
However, when we are in this situation, we do not see clearly and something leads us to stay in that pain, so Epithetus encourages us to distance ourselves and try to see what happens to us as if we were a friend or a brother.
A personal contribution that can help us is to ask ourselves, “If this were to happen to someone I love, what would you recommend doing?” Visualizing what is happening and reacting without thinking too much will give us the answer we need to apply.
All these phrases of Epithet to stop suffering will help us at a time when we see everything in a dark way, taking a step back and having some examples can help us see everything more clearly, after all, if we stop clinging to suffering, it will eventually disappear.