While some consider that “discussion is the death of dialogue,” as is the case with Emil Ludwig, others think that this is not only inevitable, but can also be positive. It’s true? We’ll try to find the answers.
Professor Javier Escriv-Ivars, director of the Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family at the University of Navarra and professor at the University of Valencia in Spain, believes that arguing is a good thing, but that fighting is destructive, that is, in the discussion. , we must not violate certain laws if we do not want the exchange of opinions to become destructive, and for that there are phrases that can be very useful.
“Sometimes confrontation is necessary, and I like it. -Louis Bourgeois-
Here are a series of expressions that can quell an argument in the egg, before it turns into a fight, but of course they’re not magic wands, so remember, if the conversation gets hotter, as Professor Escriv-Ivars says. , try to add an extra point of humility and generosity, and don’t forget empathy, essential tools if you want to improve your life, your life and your discussions, otherwise an initially quiet conversation can become hell.
It is a phrase that expresses the individual’s ability to recognize commonalities with the other person. Thus, in a discussion, when a conflict arises, we will not increase the distance, but the agreement.
In any case, I recommend that you use this phrase only when you really agree with what you are going to highlight below. As Escrivá says, don’t shoot like crazy to see if you do things right, because this way it won’t have any effect, or at least not the desired effect. Check to see if you really agree with the arguments you make and humbly accept your mistakes to find real points of agreement.
Most of the discussions we have in our lives are with people close to us, so, and because of the importance they have for us, these moments of misunderstanding produce anxiety and opposing feelings, why not say it in all sincerity?
In a discussion, it’s important to tell the other person how we feel, if something hurts and hurts what we hear, we need to communicate it to speak positively and not let the topic get out of hand.
This statement during a discussion allows us to be responsible and aware of our emotional state, however, we must be careful not to hold other parties accountable, it is possible to express discomfort without delving into what generates distance.
Another phrase that may be a turning point in a discussion. Your interlocutor’s position may seem absurd, but if you start ridiculing him, for example, he’ll do more harm than good.
On the other hand, if you try to empathize and rationalize the feelings of the person with whom you are arguing, you can see a background that you have not seen before, in this way, you can analyze the situation in more depth and fully understand what it is. happening, where the discomfort occurs and how to find common solutions.
“Remember that each discussion has at least three points of view: yours, the other’s and the other’s. -Napoleon Hill-
Another useful expression in discussion scenarios, sometimes it is better to prioritize the points in common and put aside the differences, in this way your interlocutor realizes that you are a sincere person who really seeks an understanding, not a fight.
In this case it shows good humor to be positive and not insist on the points that separate those who argue, in fact, this expression is very useful to transform a verbal struggle into a cooperative relationship.
There’s no such thing as a perfect person. So, as imperfect beings we are, we all make mistakes. To be sure, a discussion is the ideal time to recognize it, especially if we are partly responsible for the situation that has occurred.
So the best thing you can do is to use sincerity and humility, there is no doubt that the other person will thank you, however, it is not easy to recognize mistakes, even worse in very fervent moments, however, the result will make the effort. Useful.
Are your partner or family constantly under discussion?Don’t you like to argue or do you think it could lighten the relationship?Dare to apply these phrases, but do it with your heart, sure that over time and practice your situation will improve.