Hidden control mechanisms are strategies that some people use to manipulate the behavior of others, whose goal is to exercise power and domination. So it’s an attack on each other’s autonomy.
Sometimes these attempts to control are very evident, they occur when the imposition of conduct is direct and leaves no room for doubt, for example, with arbitrary orders, shouts of intimidation or open pressure, but on other occasions they are control mechanisms that can go unnoticed by victims.
- “Attempts to overcome this duality.
- Tame or dominate the rebels.
- Make the unknown predictable.
- And follow the homeless are the death sentence of love.
- “Zygmunt Bauman?.
This type of hidden control mechanism is very harmful because it is not easily identifiable, it entangles people in a very confusing entanglement, where they can stay for a long time without being aware of what is going on, so it is worth mentioning. That’s five of them.
It is one of the most common and also one of the most harmful, it has to do with generating lines of thought or ideas that make someone feel guilty for no reason to do so, they occur in all kinds of relationships, but they are particularly common in the bond between parents and children or in the couple.
The most typical example is: “Look at everything I’ve done for you. “Whoever says this carries a detailed list of all the acts performed for the benefit of the other. And charge them one by one. They victimize themselves to make the other person feel guilty. They often achieve their goal and therefore maintain control over others.
It is one of the hidden control mechanisms that is often confused with deep affection. The key word here is “necessity”. It corresponds to all those expressions and behaviors in which the other is led to feel that it is essential to do or not to do something. Even for a living. ” Without you I can’t live. “
In turn, this type of mechanism also includes the opposite message: “Do you need me?”. This develops a whole series of behaviors to prevent the other person from doing what he can do. or supports even if the other person does not ask. In this way, it reinforces the idea that the other needs the one who gives that constant support.
This hidden control mechanism is based on the manipulation of affections; love is given to the other when he does exactly what his manipulator wants him to do; at the same time, he is denied when he departs from the mandates or demands of whoever he wants. to control.
In this sense, it is an emotional blackmail that, however, is not always so evident, obedience is often required on the grounds that it is for the sake of whom?it’s a way to put healthy limits on the situation.
This also happens frequently between parents and children or within the partner. One side, one of your goals for the other. Therefore, an individual lens subtly becomes a two-man lens, even if one of the parts is not fully convinced that this is what it really wants.
This common goal sometimes becomes a sword of Damocles. Won’t the promoter have any trouble expressing his?Disappointment? If the other does not meet this goal or does nothing to achieve it. The problem may be related to an economic goal, having children, or performing certain dreams.
As the incest refers to, it is one of the hidden control mechanisms that fundamentally affect the family, in particular, it is a type of control that appears between mothers and children, or between parents and children, the parent, or dominant figure, makes the child feel that everything is everything to him and that together they form a kind of “front against the world”.
In the end, daughters or sons end up being a kind of parent to their parents, who support, support, and guide them. Also those who often assume responsibilities that are not their own, learn to give much without expecting anything and have difficulty understanding the meaning of individuality.
All these hidden control mechanisms are found daily in our human relationships, born of insecurity or frustration and go the same way: insecurity and frustration, neither those who implement them nor those who are victims of them achieve a full and happy existence.