The keys to assertiveness are actually quite simple, based on respect, humility and a desire to live better. Of course, learning to assert yourself requires effort, but it has many rewards. Surely we’ll end up with a less complicated and more complicated life. profitable existence.
Assertiveness is defined as the ability to communicate in an open, direct and gentle way, without coercion or harm to others and also without complaining or failing to express what we really mean; is an attribute that lies between communicative passivity and aggression. Inhibition. In aggression, mute or override the other. In the middle is self-affirmation.
- “The way we communicate with others and ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.
- “Anthony Robbins.
Knowing and applying the keys of assertiveness helps us to express what we want, it also helps us to say ‘no’ and negotiate disputes, without assaulting anyone, is an essential ability to have and preserve good communication with others and, therefore, a good human being relationships. The five keys to achieving this are as follows.
It is normal that throughout our lives we learn to behave passively or aggressively in communication. There are many nuances in this, but usually one of the two extremes predominates. Over time, we realize we both get in trouble.
This is precisely the moment when flexibility must come into play, one of the most important keys to self-affirmation. Being flexible means realizing that just as we learn to communicate badly, we can also learn to affirm ourselves. However, we can only change, when we understand that we can shape our behavior to be better and happier.
We have a lot of mental patterns for everything. The most important, in any case, are those that refer to ourselves, include a particular way of seeing and treating us, as well as a set of expectations about our performance.
When the mental pattern towards ourselves is negative, it is very difficult to communicate properly. We will expect to be taxed or we hope to impose ourselves. One of the keys to self-affirmation is to build a good attitude towards who we are and what this will allow us to respond to external requests in a smarter way.
Thinking about problems may not be pleasant, but it is necessary, for many it is a meaningless exercise, because these reflections only serve to make them feel even more despondent, however, what should be avoided is not to think about difficulties, but to analyze them only in general.
One of the keys of self-affirmation is the ability to specify problems, that is, delimit them. Know where they come from, with whom and how, when you think about them that way, they’re much easier to handle, just doing the redistricting exercise helps. Therefore, it is easier for us to assert ourselves to solve them.
Respect is the basis of good communication and, therefore, of a good relationship with others, respect means being able to recognize the dignity of the other, but also the dignity of the other, which in turn manifests itself in the consideration of one’s own needs and those of others also as the will to accept each person as he really is.
One way to cultivate this respect, yours and that of others, is awareness of the rights that protect all people, rights that are precisely related to the consideration, acceptance and preservation of dignity.
Defensive behaviors are born of prejudice and fear, they correspond to all forms of action inspired by the fear of being assaulted, interrogated or confronted, are the result of insecurity. Those who trust themselves have no problem finding different points of view or lifestyles that don’t look like their own.
The problem is that defensive behaviors often make a person less concerned and even aggressive towards others. The difference looks like an affront. He sees no opportunity for personal enrichment, but a threat against who we are. Recognizing and rethusing these defensive behaviors is one of the keys to self-affirmation.
When we learn to assert ourselves, life becomes easier, assertiveness is a decisive ability to overcome conflicts, which we inevitably encounter frequently, with it we learn to take advantage of it and turn it into an opportunity for growth.