“Nobody deserves to live in an emotionally toxic environment; survival is not only necessary, is it absolutely vital?
Make no mistake: the family is one of the most common steps in which toxic relationships are given, this can be even more difficult than in other contexts, because these relationships cannot be broken, is it much easier to end the relationship with your partner or friend than to do it with your mother-in-law, brother, children, parents?
- The truth is that the family imposes itself on us and we cannot choose it.
- Which forces us to adapt to it.
- We must accept that.
- Even if we are independent and plural.
- There are certain rules to which we are subject by our role in the family.
In fact, the more relevant the position of members of the relationships toxic to the family unit, the harder it will be to get out of the situation or deal with this type of relationship.
In any case, there are two types of families: rigid and flexible, it is in the first where we usually see toxic relationships, the result of intense and irrational use of power, the fact that someone is abusing their power leads to great difficulties for relationships; such a person does not allow us to freely express our feelings and opinions. They’re emotional vampires.
Most of us have been victims of tax, envy or negligence on the part of someone who should not deliberately harm us at first. Obviously, chances are we can’t break this relationship, because a family bond doesn’t. Breaking so easily, but the truth is that there are times when relationships intensify to the point where we have no choice but to remedy it. Put an end to it.
According to Laura Rojas Marcos, most conflicts are caused by power struggles, a sense of good and no limits, so, in front of a brother, a mother-in-law, a cousin, who throws something in our face or hurts us with his actions, how should we act?
This does not mean that we should submit to their desires and give in when we do not want to do something, but it does mean maintaining a certain willingness to listen and consider what the other has to tell us.
It is important that we prepare to accept the possibility of not reaching agreement on what we are asked to do, in this case there must be a pact of respect for disagreements to facilitate coexistence, that is, you want something that is not compatible. with what I want, let’s accept it and move on.
In that sense, do we have to accept that he? No, that’s the answer and we’ll have to be able to tolerate frustration. It is often said that where there is trust there is disgust, but it is something that we cannot allow. Excessive confidence and interference give way to the largest known family. Conflicts.
As Rojas Marcos points out, “in family relationships things are done where there is no agreement. If we enter a child’s home without warning or calling at any time, we must be prepared to receive an answer that may not be what we expected Is this good for determining and marking the boundaries of the relationship ?.
When it comes to taking care of any relationship, it is very important not to say the first thing you can think of and pass it through the filter of education and respect.
It is likely that most people have a close relative who believes that they can say what they want and that their perceptions and opinions are above those of others.
This can lead to a lot of conflict, so it is important to stay away from situations and set limits calmly, responding that what the other tells us causes emotional pain, it is important that we make sure that we do not lose ground to this. Problem.
You probably don’t want the power, that you just want to be free to act and express yourself, and that this person is a big obstacle for you to make it, it’s as simple as saying ‘I can’t’, ‘I don’t want to’, ‘I don’t agree. ‘It’s important to feel safe and use this skill to choose.
Besides, the words that open the most doors are?And thank you?. Even though we’re family, they’re still of great importance. Expressing consideration and kindness is a testament to respect for time and effort in the face of a request or favor.
Impatience makes us more impulsive and therefore we do not think about our decisions. The ability to wait and think before acting is one of the most important principles that should guide our relationships, especially family relationships.
We may not be able to solve the difficulties that come with a toxic and exhausting family relationship. Sometimes it becomes inevitable to make a decision with consequences that can actually harm the family.
Vampires and emotional predators exist in all families and in all contexts; The important thing is that we can identify and protect ourselves from them, as well as not let ourselves be guided by the intensity of fleeting emotions such as boredom. First, be sensible and keep in mind that we have a mental and physical limit that no one should exceed.
Images courtesy of Bedya and Everett Collection