The idea of him, the love of your life?it was widespread. Either way, it’s a contemporary version of the half-orange myth. Implicitly, he introduces the idea that there is great love for us and that our role is to seek him out and find him. It is assumed that if he cannot find the love of his life, he must keep looking.
There is nothing wrong with decorating the love of two with romantic ideas; in fact, it can be rewarding. The problem arises when you assume that you have not found the love of your life, but that at any time you will find it somewhere and that it will really last you a lifetime. Otherwise, it’s because that person “wasn’t the right person,” but another person will be.
“Not being loved is a mere misfortune. Is the real shame not knowing how to love? . – Albert Camus-
The problem with all this is that it can lead some people to live according to an ideal reality, and ideal realities live only in the world of ideas, not reality, so it is worth clarifying a little more. things. Check out five reasons why you can’t find the love of your life.
The first reason you can’t find the love of your life is that it doesn’t exist, at least there isn’t a person predestined to occupy an extraordinary place in your heart, there’s not a single person we can be happy with. a relationship, there are many.
Any relationship, however wonderful, can end. It does not depend on fate, it does not depend on strange forces, it is simply a consequence of several factors. The most common are frustrated expectations and the difficulty of welcoming us maturely into our lives.
Many people think that their ideal partner is a kind of reflection of themselves, they are looking for someone who is their own version in an extraterrestrial body, it is obvious that there must be a strong compatibility between the two, but that does not eliminate the fact that there can also be, and there are, great differences between the two.
If you can’t find the love of your life, you can have a very personal idea of love. You may believe that great love is the one that meets your needs or desires, but what about you?
Are you able to fully meet the needs and desires of the other person, do you look at it from your point of view, without looking at the other side of the story?
There are many people who still support the idea that someone should ‘appear’ to make them feel butterflies in their stomachs, sweat in their hands and heart coming out of their eyes or even take them to paradise. only with his presence. Everything else is small.
These fantasies are a vague reminder of the early loves of adolescence. Love and youth make us feel affection in this way during this stage of our lives.
At the same time that youth does not return, love will not be as effervescent as before, on the other hand, it can be much better, more real and more lasting.
One of the most common reasons you can’t find the love of your life can be the difficulty of getting involved.
Making a commitment isn’t easy. It involves a set of losses and waivers, as well as an acceptance that reality is incomplete and imperfect. It’s the negotiation of romantic fantasy because it’s a rational act.
Sometimes we do not want to accept that reality has ordinary facets, in which the violin is not played; commitment is not compatible with idealism, but with realism; not everyone has the tools to commit wholeheartedly; to this extent, no love will survive. time and trial.
Today there is a great obsession with success, especially in the professional sphere, people want to reach the top. Having more money, more prestige, more of all, the only way to do it is to give life to work and projects.
In these conditions it is very difficult for a great love to prosper, even for these people love itself ends up becoming a profitable business, at this point it is necessary to reveal one of the great secrets of true love: one falls in love. love with each other’s vulnerabilities and needs, not with their successes and successes.
If you regret not having found the love of your life, you may want to think that there is nothing to find, it is not about looking, but about building, it is not about being loved, it is about loving. This is the formula for a fully happy relationship.