Each of us, individually, can change, we can make an effort to improve the things we don’t like, but we can’t change others. We must not forget this when it comes to toxic people. With people like that, we can only do two things: avoid them or deal with them.
Many people prefer to run away from toxic people, but when they have no choice but to deal with someone like that, it’s better to find a way to act smart. It spreads its negativity, infects others, creates a bad environment and wastes the moment.
- Toxic people question the logic of personal relationships.
- In fact.
- Although unconscious most of the time.
- Some people are happy to have a negative impact on others.
- Others simply create chaos by shaking each other’s nerves.
- In all cases.
- Toxic people create unnecessarily complexity.
- Conflict and stress.
“Toxic people stick like blocks of cement to our ankles and invite us to swim in their poisonous waters. -John Mark Green-
Studies have long shown that stress can have an irreversible and negative impact on the brain, if only for a few days, exposure to stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important area of the brain responsible for reasoning and memory. stress lasts several weeks, eventually damaging the dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other). If it lasts several months, stress can permanently destroy neurons.
Recent research from the Department of Clinical and Biological Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany has revealed that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions (the same type of exposure as when dealing with toxic people) provoked a strong brain reaction to stress.
Thus, whether due to negativity, cruelty or victimhood (among other strategies), toxic people cause a state of stress in the brain of others that requires an intelligent emotional response to disappear.
The key to acting smartly on toxic behaviors is to cultivate the ability to control emotions and stay calm in pressure situations, in fact, one of the greatest qualities of people who know how to manage stress is the ability to counteract stress. effects of toxic people.
Ignore the opinions of toxic people, get rid of criticism and you’ll be free from every word and action of these people. Don’t idealize. Don’t expect anything from anyone. -Bernardo Stamateas-
Toxic people don’t wear badges so we can identify them, yet we all know who a source of conflict and unrest around us, we know the damage they can cause. We also know where they’re attacking us. You know who’s looking for you, and you know who’s beating you up, too. And when he hits you right away, you know you’re lost.
If for some reason you can’t avoid the presence of this toxic person, try not to fall into your net, ignore it, you know that it will try to get your attention, that it will provoke you, that they do not hit you. Don’t be provoked by this person’s interruptions, comments, or actions. Be nice. Be patient. Be less careful, bite your tongue if you don’t need to let that person’s poison hit you, rest a safety if it’s time to set a limit.
? Share only with people who can help you with information and support. When you meet negative people, don’t open your mouth. -Israelmore Ayivo-
The main characteristic of the toxic is contagion. This happens to toxic people: they spread your attitude. If you react with toxic behavior, you’ll have lost the battle. Even if this toxic person manages to press your “feel guilty” button, not everything is lost. Maintaining serenity in the face of the worst poison, the inoculation of guilt, is possible.
Being possible doesn’t mean it’s easy to ignore a toxic person’s calls for attention, in fact, a common strategy for toxic people is to ridicule their goal in public when they can’t deal directly with them, if they haven’t chosen it. way first Therefore, maintaining control of emotions is paramount in such a situation.
On the other hand, maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness, it is not always possible to prevent someone from pressing your most sensitive buttons, when this happens, you will have to overcome your fears and complexities and move on. better to ignore what happened, because this way it will be easier to control your emotions. However, there is another option: defend your limits.
“The disqualifier aims to control our self-esteem, not make us feel anything about others so that it can shine and be the center of the universe. ” – Bernardo Stamateas-
You should know that the attack on a toxic person does not undermine their dignity, in fact your dignity can be attacked and ridiculed, but you can never lose it if you do not voluntarily renounce it, therefore, you do not need to defend. their arguments, but to clarify the boundaries.
Toxic people do not offend those who want to offend, but those who may offend. If you’re on the defensive, you show you might be offended. If you set the boundaries, make it clear that you can’t attack.
In the face of a toxic person, logic and explanations have no value, it is necessary to clarify things firmly, you must clearly express your authority over the decisions to which you are entitled and at the same time responsible
Keep in mind that to set a limit, you’ll need to act consciously and proactively; If you let things happen naturally, you’ll be constantly involved in difficult conversations; If you set limits, you’ll be able to control much of the chaos caused by a poison. Person.
As we have seen, to deal with a toxic person, we can adopt an offensive attitude, a defensive position or just ignore it, but it is not always easy to do these things, in fact, sometimes it makes sense to be kind with toxic. People. Maybe they’re going through a difficult time, an emotional situation they don’t know how to handle effectively.
Unfortunately, toxic behavior is often a way to deal with a difficult personal situation, but it’s not fair to have other people support your pain. Nor is there a personal relief in making others feel bad. However, deep down, there is not always malice, resentment or anger towards people with toxic behavior.
This does not mean that you have to set aside or accept these behaviors, after all, everyone has their own problems, their own demons, in such a situation, face it with compassion, forgiving. Without getting into the game and setting limits, of course, but without worrying too much about the attitude of others, as it is just the reflection of a restless and painful inner life.