When you’re happy it’s easy to smile and make others feel like you’re in a good mood, however, when you’re serious, this performance becomes much more subjective Are you sad?Tired? That’s why it’s so important to know how to effectively express your feelings.
Giving your feelings a voice allows people to empathize with you, so they’ll know more about their personality and know what to do and what not to do to avoid misunderstandings or confrontations, and expressing your feelings helps you cope with difficult situations. situations and improves their self-awareness. Here are some steps to make this task easier.
- Naming a series of sensations is complex.
- We are often unaware of the cause of our bad mood.
- So first of all.
- We have to wonder what happened for our mood to change so much.
- What makes us feel that way?.
You can try to relax for a few minutes to identify what caused a change within you. Try to understand what all this accumulation of sensations made you feel. Close your eyes if it seems convenient and think. What causes you surprise, joy, disgust, contempt or fear?
I’m not okay? Or?I’m fine, it helps, but not much. Try to be more precise and precise with the words you use to name your feelings. The more concrete it is, the better you’ll understand how you feel.
For example, imagine that you are angry with your boss because you criticized him in front of your colleagues. When explaining the situation to someone else, you can use adjectives such as “embarrassing,” “impotent,” “annoying,” “angry. “”or “humiliated. ” This will allow the other person to understand and know how to help you.
Use emotional verbs such as “Watch,” “Receive,” “Feel,” instead of “believe,” “think,” or “think. “These are easily refuted because they do not refer to their internal condition, but to their mental treatment.
Now imagine that your partner doesn’t like to have their hair touched, every time you do this he’s in a bad mood, if he never told you it’s normal that, on the one hand, you keep playing like you’re hugs. On the other hand, he’s angry. There will come a time when it will explode for everything that happens around you and you will understand nothing.
You will think that he is exaggerating and you will attribute the cause of his discomfort to another situation, so the consequences will not be as expected and your fear, disorder or anger will turn against you, with this we see that calm is not the best thing to try not to think about it and get bored only prolongs our discomfort and can even generate conflicts.
When we want to express feelings, we use the verb “feel”. If we convey thoughts, we use “feel that. “The subtle difference lies in the inclusion or not of the particle that. For example, “Am I afraid?” (feeling) or do I feel that fear paralyzes me?(Thought).
In the latter case, we rationalize an emotion, that is, in the face of a situation, that is, we have already cognitively treated the origin of the event of our feelings, we no longer explain the effects it has on us, but its possible consequences.
When you start explaining yourself with one “you make me feel,” you not only blame the other, but reinforce your feelings. Responsibility for feelings is personal and unconditional. Wanting to pass it on to others is unethical or real, and it can create problems with the people around you.
How do you feel after counting something you’ve been dreaming about for a long time?Take it, don’t you? Speaking is therapeutic and liberating, according to several studies, people who avoid communicating their feelings have an increased risk of developing cancer (Chapman, Fiscella
As people we are, we can’t help but feel emotions, it’s in our nature, so the best way to respect ourselves is to learn to live with them, accept them, and try to understand them.
If you try to do this only once, the next one will be much easier and so, until you can naturalize this behavior and turn it into an additional habit in your daily life, if you succeed you will have a great emotional advantage over the rest of the people.
Expressing your feelings will improve the quality of your relationships, we are not only talking about the relationship with others, but also with ourselves.
When we express aloud how we feel, the intensity of discomfort that emotion can cause decreases. This is because by giving voice to emotions our cerebellar amygdala decreases its activity, which in turn decreases the emotional response. (Lieberman et al. , 2007).
In addition, knowing how to express your feelings increases your psychological strength and your ability to deal with difficult times and situations (Kross et al. , 2009). It mentally prepares you to know how you would react to exceptional events.
While this is not an easy task, investing time in expressing your feelings improves the quality of your interpersonal relationships, it is an effort that requires constant introspective work and a complete acceptance of yourself.