Having a good conversation can be, especially for very shy people, a great challenge, there are times when you want to make a good impression on your interlocutor, not disturb him or somehow avoid running out of subject. falling into the typical silences that seem to last forever.
Knowing how to talk is an art. There are people with great eloquence, who have a gift for conversation, as in a game of Russian dolls, know how to draw themes of other themes with surprising naturalness.
- For others.
- Getting this speech out of the way is difficult.
- Which can lead us to see ourselves as uninteresting people or people who do not know what to say.
- This can lead us to panic at the idea of meeting new people.
- Which in turn still creates more insecurity.
- The good news is that all is not lost.
- You can learn to speak with some simple techniques.
Remember that people who have the most difficulty having an interesting conversation are more sensitive to other people’s opinions, not that they are less interesting or have less experience to count, but are afraid to be judged if they say something, absurd?Or “trivial. “
The truth is that they analyze much more what they are going to say and their filter has a very high bar: nothing seems attractive enough to be counted and, therefore, they throw it away, so they find themselves without subject and stuck in the same silence that they fear so much.
Before analyzing the strategies that we can use to speak better, one thing needs to be clarified: one thing must overcome the fear of judgment, failure or criticism, and the key to achieving it is to accept the opinion of others as they are, an opinion: a judgment of another person that does not have to correspond to reality, because it is based on its own scale of values and its own experience.
We must consider that we are all sensitive to the approval of others and most of us to a greater degree than we really need, leaving this group will make us freer to do, say or think what we want.
This attitude is not contrary to the continued caution of our participation in the various conversations we enter into, it is not a question of silencing everything that is passed through our heads, but of properly demonstrating it and eliminating what can harm unnecessarily: prudence, which is not a lack of affirmation or cowardice, is a great value that helps strengthen our relations.
There are times when the people we talk to share a recent experience, such as a trip. We may not be too sure how to handle the conversation and that’s where we can use that rule. Ask him what he tells you using these four rules, elements: How did you get to Paris, by plane or train, where were you?When did you go on vacation?This will increase the chances of the conversation becomes interesting.
It’s as simple as looking at it and trying to imagine what you like (for example, whether you’re wearing a T-shirt from a rock band you also like) or just asking. Finding these points in common is essential to make the conversation more interesting and for the link to form. We all love people who look more like us, and talking to them can be very rewarding.
If so, you have a great chance to learn! Imagine you need to talk to someone who talks about plants and you have no idea. Start by asking questions: “I’ve always wanted to know more about what you’re talking about, what’s the difference between plant x and plant y?At the end of the day, you talk to that person and you take an apprenticeship, your interlocutor will realize that you do not know the subject, but that you are interested, and also creates a bond between you.
Almost everyone basically likes to be asked about aspects of our lives, because humans generally like to talk about themselves and appreciate the opportunity to do so (because we don’t usually have many). that lead you to countless talking points are: What kind of movies do you like ?, What kind of music do you usually listen to?Do you like to travel? Anyway, as many questions as you can think of.
Avoid questions about your partner (because you may seem interested); work and pay (for some people this issue can be frustrating because they don’t like work or have just been fired and don’t want to talk about it); or academic training (for some it’s the Achilles heel).
It’s a great strategy that creates new conversation threads, asks if the person has seen the last political debate and what they think, or if they can recommend an interesting movie you haven’t seen yet. Before going to a social event, it is good to be informed of the latest news and take into account 4 or 5 topics that can be used to discuss.
Here are some strategies you can start using to have an interesting conversation next time and avoid uncomfortable silence, but remember that the most important thing is that you know that other people’s opinions aren’t as valuable as you think and that you have the right to express yours, when and when you don’t hurt anyone.