Loving oneself is essential: not only to maintain healthy self-esteem, but also to have quality relationships with others; However, if there is a lack of self-love, you will not only find it difficult to identify with others, but also increase your risk of developing depression.
Detecting signs of lack of self-esteem can help improve your relationship with yourself (internal dialogue) and others; identifying these signs can also help you find a way out of states of sadness, disappointment, or even take the reins if you feel in a bad mood.
“The worst loneliness is not being comfortable with yourself. “- Mark Twain–
An indicator of low self-esteem and often behind these negative thoughts about you is the act of questioning the feelings, words and actions of others for you. What others do, say or feel for you creates uncertainty for you.
There is no doubt that we all love to feel loved and understood, yet people with low self-esteem tend not to believe what others say or do and are systematically questioned, they think that no one likes or values them, they rejoice in criticism and, worse, they believe that there is something suspicious behind good words or displays of appreciation.
That makes sense. Behind this, there is a very coherent unconscious thought: how will anyone love me more than myself?How can anyone be nicer to me than I can?
Always being defensive is another clear sign of lack of self-esteem, insecurity and lack of self-confidence keep you on an unwarranted state of alertness, this not only increases your stress level, but also allows you to be objective about what’s happening. around you.
Getting defensive doesn’t give you a clear understanding of what people tell you or ask you, it creates uncertainty about what others think, and generates a state of fear and sadness that doesn’t allow you to enjoy what’s around you. you’re defensive, it’s easy for your attitudes toward others to become rude, unpleasant or tense, when they’re not violent.
On the other hand, being always defensive, you act predicting the worst, so your reaction can be excessive and even mis-rather, which often leads to conflicts that, at worst, end up making your worst fears come true and reaffirming your point of view.
It can also happen that you want to avoid a conflict and that, for that, you pretend that everything is fine, that is, instead of defending something right or something that you like or care about, you prefer to give up to avoid problems.
The problem is that this lack of love and self-esteem will not give you the strength to defend what belongs to you or what interests you, however, you will easily get into an argument over an absurdity or something that really does not matter. .
Fear of others being angry or despised for defending your opinion or claiming what’s right for you leads you to accept what they say or consent to keep them happy and, in the process, increases the feeling that your opinion doesn’t matter or doesn’t matter. nobody cares what you want.
The habit of comparing yourself to everyone is another clear sign that you don’t like them, in fact, the comparison with others is not in itself negative, the problem is that people who don’t like them make too much comparison, especially in areas where they are ill-prepared.
In addition, a person who does not like himself compares even if he does not have to compare himself and rejoices with the result, so he not only diminishes self-esteem, but feelings such as envy, feeling abandoned or even being the victim of injustice, all of this only increasingly weakens self-love.
It is true that many of the things we have achieved may be due to a stroke of luck, at least in part, but it is not all a matter of luck. Knowing how to take advantage of opportunities is essential to materialize this stroke of luck in a realization.
However, if you don’t love yourself enough, you won’t be able to recognize your own value in what you’ve achieved, so you don’t appreciate your skills or your efforts, plus you don’t consider others to be able to value yourself or understand the compliments they give you to congratulate or congratulate you. In a way, this attitude of giving luck the responsibility for your accomplishments makes you feel helpless and unmotivated, adrift.
Believe in yourself, don’t be toxic to yourself, fall in love with yourself and everything around you will change.