They say that to start a fight, at least two sides must fight, in this sense it is not necessary the desire for conflict, but the desire not to avoid it, that desire, seemingly innocent because it can be satisfied with a passive attitude, can lead us to be part of a conflict without realizing it, so it is important to learn to avoid an aggressive conversation.
The purpose of most dialogues is to understand, as far as possible, this objective is complicated when passion reigns and the starting point of postures is far away, it is in these cases that you have to be careful not to create or feed an aggressive conversation. .
- But so how to avoid an aggressive conversation? This can be simple if we automate certain strategies and use them when we identify a worsening of aggression in the dialogue.
“Many shout and argue until the other shuts up. Then they think he’s convinced. But are they always wrong?-Noel Claras-
Many know this technique by the well-known name of “scratched disc”. It consists of repeating several times the point that we want to reach, ignoring any statement that departs from the objective. It’s a way to resume the conversation to reaffirm yourself and avoid falling. in the traps of each other’s aggression.
This technique is useful to avoid aggressive conversation as it helps maintain communication in rational terms and is discussed for a purpose. By focusing on this goal, we neutralize other types of messages that can affect emotions and distort the purpose of communication.
It is a particularly effective technique when the other person fills the conversation with clues or subtleties designed to make us feel bad, so the goal is to keep what we say to a minimum to allow other “parties” to speak.
The goal is to get out of this nebulous field of indirects, as they often mask a well of aggression, sowing confusion and leading to conflicts, so be clear in our communication, to make sure others understand what we mean, it’s a good way to avoid aggressive conversation.
When two sides face off it is not common for reason to be completely on one side, it is also common for parties, not being vulnerable, to make statements more confidently than they actually think. Given this temptation, controlling it will decrease the chances of aggression starting to increase as opinions are exchanged.
Thus, recognizing some of the reason in the different positions puts out many conflicts before they begin, and in doing so, we are establishing a framework of dialogue that tends to be much more in line and therefore much less aggressive.
This technique consists in deliberately ignoring content or expressions that cause an offense or shame, turning our attention only to the central aspects; in particular, it is a question of ignoring the inappropriate forms used by the other.
The caller will quickly notice that their words have no effect and will probably give up. The most appropriate procedure is to focus on something positive to take the conversation out of the negative space in which the other wants to conduct it.
For example, when your partner says, “You never listen to me. Last Friday we agreed to go to the movies and you were late (a)”. Using selective attention, one possible answer would be: “Do you accept another invitation?to the movies and a dinner in compensation for my mistake?”
This technique applies when our interlocutor starts to draw up a long list of loads, ideally to focus first on one of these messages, then on the others, one by one, if we receive everything together and at the same time, It is easier to make mistakes when choosing the best defense strategy.
Without realizing it, a person who wants to initiate a conflict will do his best to attract the other to the conflict, in these cases the criticisms that refer to the person and not to a certain behavior are very common, the attack is direct to the others, seeking to obtain their reaction.
While most disagreements are healthy and rewarding, we often end up with these properties because of the way we act to defend our stance, this mistake, far from preventing aggressive conversation, actually promotes it, causing it to lose the positive aspects that might result from the exchange. views.