As in all families there are unresolved conflicts, they find a good opportunity to attend family reunions: birthday, father’s day or mother’s day, and perhaps the most difficult of all: Christmas, so in this article we will talk about some tips to survive family reunions at best.
It is important to note that conflict is part of family life and that it is normal that sometimes someone’s behavior is not appreciated by us, danger arises when this conflict is not resolved, this gives way to negative emotions that are preserved and nurtured, erupting at Christmas dinner Do you identify with that situation?If yes, we would like to help you not let circumstances be interrupted.
- For this reason.
- In this article.
- We have gathered 5 tips to survive family gatherings.
- The idea is that with these small strategies you can be close to someone with whom you had or have a problem and even have fun and participate in the festive atmosphere.
- These tips are designed so that you can memorize them and use them as a contingency plan in case the tension starts to rise and the smell of conflict arises in the air.
When we have an unresolved problem with someone, it’s tempting to take the first opportunity to talk and put an end to it, so when you meet people you have a problem with, without realizing it, you can both provoke and be provoked.
In this sense, it is important that you detect the provocations in advance. The goal will be to redirect the conversation to a non-conflicting topic, so that the tension dissipates. Family gatherings are certainly not the best time to talk about sensitive topics.
In many families there are people, such as mother, father or grandfather, who rejoice when the family is reunion, the other members agree to participate in family reunions, partly motivated by the satisfaction of the desire of the person who aspires to Therefore, if in their case they cannot find the personal motivation to meet a family member , focus on your ability to make someone you value happy.
When it bothers us to be with someone, we need to know what is really happening, are we ashamed of something that can be changed? Is it a characteristic of the other that we have in common with him? Answering these questions is essential to face the emotions that affect us . Thus, in some cases, a characteristic of a relative bothers us not to change, so we ourselves will have to be the ones who raise a tolerance level or avoid being with that person in the circumstances in which this characteristic manifests itself.
One way or another, family reunification is not the most conducive territory if you want to drive change in someone, whatever your good intentions and you just want your good, it’s not the best time to say someone smokes too much or should eat. We have the whole year to do so, so we don’t need to destroy these meetings with comments that can be painful, even if they’re not offensive.
Whenever you’re upset, try to take a few minutes to think with yourself and ask yourself if it’s really worth starting an argument now. Are you talking? I mean, you use self-learning (instructions we give ourselves) to your advantage.
That is, what we say to ourselves works as an order in the brain, in this sense, if the orders you give yourself are calm and serene, it will be easier to survive family reunions.
Avoidance is not always a negative coping strategy, in fact, it is the best strategy in the face of complicated situations and this is not the time or place. In addition, avoidance is also the best thing you can do when you already know yourself ‘ You’re going to get angry, lose control and get others out through a bad run. Wanting to control your boredom when your patience runs out is not a realistic goal.
On the other hand, you need to know how to put limits on your family relationships, each family follows a pattern of work, you can have a family with a separate model or with a grouped model, if your family has a separate model, the boundaries between the life of each member is defined and respected. In these cases, when family reunions arrive, the work is done.
However, if you have a family following a grouped model, the boundaries between each member’s life are not well defined or not respected, so in this case, it may be convenient to set these limits before the meetings themselves. Family gatherings are not the best time to explain your personal needs or impose limits on those who find it easy to meddle in the most intimate aspects of your life.
In any case, it’s always good to put limits on family relationships and be clear about what you want to share or not, and when you want advice or not, remember that you have the right to make your own decisions even if you feel you’re against what most members of your family think.
Finally, take advantage of these evenings to enjoy the positive aspects of family gatherings and focus your attention on them, especially remember that being patient and not getting into conflict can prevent a good initiative from becoming unpleasant for those involved. , your attitude at these dates can have a significant impact on the well-being of others.