The emotionally mature person knows that life is neither easy nor just, so he does not hold anyone accountable for his happiness or suffering, nor does he put the key to his well-being in the pockets of others, he merely assumes responsibilities. for his decisions, he is the architect of each of his steps and choices, as well as his possible consequences.
The concept of emotional maturity was one of the pillars of Albert Ellis’ theories, so for those who do not know the father of cognitive behavioral therapy, it is worth mentioning that he was one of the most prominent figures in psychology. life and its work are hard to match.
- He has written more than 80 books.
- 1.
- 800 articles.
- Trained more than 200 therapists and created an institute that bears his name.
- Where he teaches people to identify.
- Challenge and replace their negative or limiting beliefs with healthier ones.
- And emotional growth so that the person can achieve their own goals.
Thus, in all his works, there is always the need to transmit basic tools that facilitate our growth and maturity as human beings, these keys or principles that we set out below contain the essence of this knowledge that Albert Ellis gave us through what he considered his true goal: to make suffering more manageable.
“If the Martians found out what human beings think, they would die of laughter. “- Albert Ellis-
Many of us would like to be able to edit the past. Be like the writer who finishes a chapter and decides to delete certain paragraphs to make the story more meaningful.
However, believe it or not, life sometimes doesn’t make sense. There are things that happen without explanation; these are facts, facts and circumstances that we are obliged to accept to move forward.
Similarly, the emotionally mature person has learned that he cannot change people, others cannot be expected to act or say what is expected, all of this is undoubtedly another source of unnecessary suffering.
Bertrand Malle, a cognitive psychologist at Brown University, conducted a study in 2004 to discuss the relationship between happiness and how our minds understand the concept of personal responsibility.
Thus, one fact that remains obvious is that taking responsibility for what happens to us is in the hands of others generates obvious discomfort, it is like living in ostrich territory, it is hiding your head while blaming the world for your failures and discouragement. .
However, it is clear that we have no control over all aspects of our reality. However, we have the opportunity to choose how to deal with the reality we must live. That’s where the key is; this is certainly the road plan that the emotionally mature person has in mind every day.
It doesn’t matter that my childhood is not exactly the best, does my partner leave me ?, does it belong to me the need to recover from all this, because the past does not have to determine me, the gift belongs to me, I am responsible for myself and I can redirect it with new and better tools?
The emotionally mature person is allowed to change. To change is to grow and adjust course more accurately after acquiring new learnings.
Taking a step forward in our growth often means leaving things and people behind to reduce the burdens that limit us, erode personal values and well-being. Something like this means gathering the courage to understand that our potential is to make changes periodically.
On your journey along our life paths, we need an emotional compass, the one that always orients us north, where fears do not weigh too much, where there is no anguish and where anxiety does not slow our steps.
The emotionally mature person has learned to deal with the conditions that have brought him uninfiest consequences, of which he has somehow acquired knowledge, because each compass must be well calibrated, and this is learned through experience, being more aware of internal states, irrational thoughts. , emotions that extract the worst from ourselves.
The emotionally mature person doesn’t obsessively seek love, you don’t avoid it, you don’t run away from it, but you don’t need it either, because if there’s one thing you understand is that emotionally what’s worth it, what matters is being able to keep growing. Continue learning with someone who enriches the path of life, a person who does not oppose, but encourages and develops them.
Thus, in the heart of someone who is emotionally mature, only the loves he knows how to balance, dreams and projects where everyone can follow his goals, but having a common space can adapt, if this does not happen, loneliness will always be preferable. , because well-being and personal satisfaction can inhabit this territory.
In conclusion, one aspect must be observed. No one comes into this world as an emotionally mature person; this topic is learned over time and day by day new and better skills are acquired to include them in our existential background, so let us be receptive to this type of learning.