Educating is not an easy task; it is a task that requires various qualities (patience, love, illusion, time, etc. ) and often its fruits are seen only in the long term; in addition, education is a much broader act than we generally understand. Not only parents, grandparents, uncles educate; It’s a much more global topic For example, one way or another, when we walk down the street and throw paper on the floor or in the trash, we tell the people around us (and they watch, whether they like it or not) what’s right for us.
Adults are generally less sensitive to education because in their experience they have seen people react differently to the same situation, so an individual example will have little influence, however, with children and adolescents this does not happen and we should not forget. they’re everywhere.
- In the educational context.
- There are questions that may seem obvious or common sense.
- Which in our imagination are positive.
- But perhaps not so much.
- Given the mental or psychological health of the child.
Here are all the things you should never tell your children (according to most experts):
1. “Congratulations”: here’s the first dilemma. How can I not congratulate my child when he gets a good grade at school or when he receives an award for his favorite sport?Nobody says that, so it’s worth clarifying. Psychologists say balance must be present at all times. Isn’t it good, in everything you do, it’s also not good that I never express a word of congratulations to you. Another topic to consider is the phrase or phrase used in each case. It’s not worth a ‘Very Good, Son’, ‘Congratulations, My Daughter’, ‘Keep it that way, dear’, because you are very generalistic, it is better to say in each case, ad hoc way, why we congratulate, so that I know that we are aware of what is going on. “Did you really go up the stairs?” your math scores are improving?, “Am I happy with the goals you scored in the last game. “
2. “I am busy”: Unfortunately, this is a phrase that is often repeated in today’s families. If the child hears you very often during the week and in life, he or she will think and feel that he or she is not an important person. Of course, you have obligations and “thousands of things to do,” but your child should always be one of your priorities, we already know that if he doesn’t work he won’t be able to feed or put him in this school. . However, the children’s memory of seeing him busy every day is also not positive for them. As stated in the previous point, don’t be generic by saying “I’m busy,” but explain why you’re busy. , at least with some details justifying that the father or mother cannot attend to him right now.
3. Do you see when your father (or mother) will arrive ?: If you use the other parent as an example of punishment, he will always be the bad guy, it is true that in the couple there is always one more. dominant than the other, but not so must become the monster of history, the child will learn through the fear and fear of that person who will arrive later, creating a sense of insecurity when watching him walk through the door. It is better for the adult present at all times to be responsible for the punishment the child deserves. Talk to your husband to determine the limits.
4. “Don’t cry, was it nothing?: If it were, the child would not cry. Crying is a form of communication that children have up to a certain age. The task of parents is to help them” express themselves differently, to tell what is going on and, above all, to talk about how to deal with it. Tell me, how are you, it’s not a solution.
5. “I’m leaving”: you can fill in with any threat you imagine, from taking out your cell phone to hitting. If you tell them what you’re going to do, but it’s just a prayer, the child already knows it’s a simple “warning” but it won’t happen. Besides, you’ll cause fear and you won’t give your ability to understand.