Don’t you confuse suffering with love or overcome pain with forgetfulness?
Margarita Rojas
- When we lose someone.
- Do we know what to do? No.
- Is it because.
- From a young time.
- They taught us how to behave in certain situations.
- How to do things.
- How to talk?But no one has taught us what to do when we lose someone.
- When we are consumed.
- For the pain.
Today we’re going to talk about the 6 misconceptions that society and the people around us say about grief, remember at least one, don’t you?
We have been taught that to overcome a loss we must replenish it, for example, if our animal dies we have to adopt another one, so what does that tell us?
Replacing someone will give us the relief we seek to cope with the pain. Recognize the phrase “there’s a lot of fish in the sea” You probably said something like that to someone, or they told you, the event of a breakup. Are you relieved by that? Do you feel stronger?
We should never try to replace something or someone that is very important to us, even if there were more people or another partner to occupy our lives, it would not be the same, why escape the pain?Are we so weak that we can’t cope with pain?
When we cry, suffer and go through a very sad moment, we want to be alone, that’s what they’ve taught us. Let us not cry in public; that we must suppress our feelings.
Before the duel, if we want to cry, we must do it in secret, in total privacy, showing our emotions in public is a shame. Sadness is not presentable, unlike joy, this is a myth.
The only thing this shows is that sadness is not good, that it is not a desired emotion, but this is not desired by others, that they feel uncomfortable in front of someone sad, because for us it is an emotion like others, impossible. to avoid.
Another belief that made us believe is that over time everything is forgotten and the pain disappears, it must be made clear: it depends on the person and what the lost person means to her.
The idea that time heals everything exists because, over time, one no longer feels as sad as when the loss was recent, this does not mean that our pain has healed. A mother who has lost a child, for example, will probably never recover from the injury that caused her loss. Years can pass and pain will never find calm or healing. The thing is, the person learns to live with pain.
Does the duel last a short time? Grief is personal, this can last a week for some, months or years for others, remove its importance, say that in a certain time it will happen, it is something very cynical.
We don’t forget we’ve lost someone. Time will depend on ourselves and the affection we have with that person, we will not overcome grief whenever we want, we will overcome it when we are ready.
According to beliefs, distraction relieves us and heals us False!Being busy doesn’t distract us, let alone heals our wounds, our emotions can’t be deceived. We can ease our pain, but never ending it, sooner or later it will reappear stronger.
Accept your pain, let it sink. Don’t try to distract yourself from how you feel, accept, assume and feel. You can’t reject something natural, something that desperately has to happen. Even if you don’t want to, even if you rebel, if you refuse, the pain will always be there.
Holding on and being strong are two principles so as not to collapse in the face of loss. On the contrary, those who follow these principles are the first to crumble. Because? Because they carry the pain inside you. They put on a mask of integrity and strength, while being destroyed inside.
So, here’s the formidable weakness. This one we don’t want anyone to see us, but an old man known to all. Why can’t we be weak?We’re not statues! We feel, suffer and suffer. Let’s put aside false appearances.
These are the 6 beliefs about grief that we learn and that mark our lives, have you identified with any of them?Yes, of course, do we continually avoid feeling? Distract us from what causes the pain. Be strong when we’re actually sad. We take on our pain and avoid those beliefs that make us vulnerable. Pain doesn’t weaken, pain makes us aware of what. we want so much.