Pain is inherent in life. It is as much a part of it as joy, we tend to think that it is a coincidence, a whim of destiny, but it is only an extension of our own existence, so we cannot avoid it, and any effort made. will be exhausting and unnecessary.
Pain, like joy, brings us closer to our most primary essence; both give us more important lessons and serve to guide our steps in life.
- However.
- We often turn pain into suffering.
- A bitter and eternal sip that we drink even aggressively and morbidly Are we in the worst condition ourselves?Well.
- Somehow.
- It’s like we’re desperately looking for more suffering than already exists.
It’s not bad to feel nostalgic or want to be alone in our own pain, not just that, sometimes you have to go through that moment. Having a coffee with ourselves, having time to reconnect with our most solitary intimacy, an encounter with our humanity.
The most disturbing thing, and the one that causes us even more suffering than we already feel, is all the weight that we add to the pain when climbing this steep mountain that we sometimes choose, that weight we add to ourselves when, for example, we decide that this Sadness will last forever, that it is not over, that we leave to your desire.
But there is good news: it is possible to reverse this additional suffering and, better yet, we can transform it into a learning experience that exponentially increases our existential wisdom.
As? This is explained by José Antonio García-Monge in one of his books, it turns out that when someone has intervened in the personal process through which so many restless minds have passed, he comes to a wisdom that allows him to prove at all times that pain is human and inseparable from the act of living, but that suffering is an artifice that we add and use.
You know if it’s a pain that affects me psychically, physically, socially, existentially?There are different types and you have to be able to recognize it, look it in the face and stay with him for a moment in this special encounter that we talked about earlier.
To start talking to him, you have to keep one thing in mind: pain tells us that something is wrong. Something is interrupting our peace of mind. That is why we have to understand where this pain comes from and why it appears.
By answering these questions we will have already taken a big step forward, but to ask these questions you have to be honest with yourself and listen to what this pain means to us, it is not worth fleeing in terror, nor listening We must listen to it with all the senses and with all possible sincerity, because pain strips us naked and discovers us.
As Garcia-Monge says: “Pain can burn a part of our body. Does the power to spoil the whole person have the suffering?What phrase is so fair? Suffering has the power to completely block our minds and thus leave us powerless.
We turn our pain into suffering as we project it over time, the infinite duration of the doton, or the increase in catastrophic and hopeless messages we send ourselves.
That doesn’t mean taking the blame. That guilt that, far from bringing peace, steals it. Taking responsibility for one’s own pain is about identifying what I’m doing to increase it, so that it grows until a light rain eventually turns into a flood.
How can I help myself or how can I ask for help coping with it in the best way possible?Putting my responsibility on others is once again an unnecessary exercise that will make the situation worse.
With the previous steps we will have made great progress, bring that peace that we do not find when we constantly postpone the encounter with pain, a face-to-face encounter and alone.
Maybe we can calm him down with something that helps me and something that keeps me in my life, every person is unique and knows what can help him and what can’t, there are no such effective solutions for everyone, no magic wands. process of life.
“Know existentially that we are greater than our own pain,” Garda-Monge said. Once again, a phrase that prompts me to write. Being older implies assuming that we are not our only and exclusive pain.
We’re more than her. This means recognizing that we have very powerful resources that we need to discover and use to help us in this transition that is so difficult, but so human, that it is to pass the pain of learning.
Therefore, to all those who are going through a difficult time, I invite you to listen with the sincerity that this requires, to assume what is yours and not to others, and to embrace it. After all, it’s learning our lives.