There is no manual that works for every parent in the world, but there are some general tips that can become a good guide if we want to maintain a good relationship with our children. These tips can also guide us to talk to them. on certain sensitive issues. Improving communication between parents and children is very important.
In this article, we offer some tips to increase empathy, improve the way we listen to our children, and increase their motivation to listen to us.
“The most important thing in communication is to listen to what is not said. “Peter Druker?
When communicating with them, it is best not to give closed, negative or direct opinions, especially if children are not so young and old, talk to them, ask questions, encourage common reflection, listen to why they did what they did and reach agreements that make everyone happy. It is true that it is more difficult, but it will be much easier for them to fulfill and respect them.
As parents we want to control all the situations that our children live in at home, with their brothers and sisters, friends, grandparents, in school, etc. We believe that if we tell them what to do, even when the situation has already happened, they will obey and therefore be protected if something like this happens again.
The reality is that the best way to help our children in the face of conflict is to encourage reflection, trying to understand why they acted that way, this will also help strengthen the relationship, as they will feel heard and taken seriously.
“A man’s character can be identified by the adjectives he usually wears in his conversations. “Mark Twain.
Communication between parents and children must be mutual and adapted to the level and age of the children, on the other hand, can it be very good to share our experiences? Past and present – how we feel and what we think. more human and takes us away from the position that nothing happens to us and that it bothers us, that we sometimes project.
With this communication, our children will feel closer to us and listen to other ways of solving problems, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will do what we will do, but it can give them a chance to ask us and have more confidence, to tell us what’s going on and what concerns them. Parent-child communication needs closeness to establish a bond of trust.
Active listening means empathizing and giving special importance to the feelings behind those who tell the story, which means that we must strive on certain occasions to overcome certain barriers, particularly those related to children’s indecision and insecurity. It’s important not to use anything against them that queers trust, no matter how angry we are sometimes.
On the other hand, our children will bring us challenges that also interest us, one of these challenges is to open our minds and understand that they can have another way of seeing the world, as respectable as ours, so that we have to recognize them as equals or even superior in certain debates, as they grow up.
By not judging them, we are sending a clear message to our children: we want to listen to them and we are willing to accept them, accept that they feel sad, bored or upset, so from the recognition of their emotions we can help they choose the best option.
“Whatever words we use, they should be used with caution, because the person who hears them will be influenced for better or worse. “Buddha-
When it comes to communicating with children, it’s important to be open, know what they care about, and what they like, but our children need parents to guide them, put limits on them, not friends or colleagues. That’s not our role, or at least it’s not our main role.
As we grow up and become teenagers, there will be topics they won’t want to share with us, and it’s important to respect them (we’ll even have to be patient: even if they don’t want to, we have to keep the door open).
Moreover, if we have good communication and closeness with our children, these issues will not be difficult and, in the end, they will come to us when they have a greater concern, as we said, this will happen every time we respect their privacy and the level of autonomy that corresponds to their age, otherwise, to protect these two rights, they will move away from us.
It is important to establish direct and clear communication between parents and children with the issues that are required, if our children feel or see us talking about themselves, our family, and intimate things with others, they are more likely to be reserved for fear that we will. tell them what they trust us.
Another value to have for good communication with children is sincerity. It is important to always tell the truth about what we think, say and feel. It also means respecting the commitments made.
As for sincerity, if we practice it, it is likely that our children, when they want to tell us something they know they will not like, will do it anyway, will do something valuable: they will trust us to find solutions to their problems. their problems.
To be honest also means to ask for forgiveness and to acknowledge the very mistakes we identify. Our children will act and behave when they look at what we are doing: we are their most immediate example, and if we do not act with sincerity and discretion, they are unlikely to do so either.
“Effective communication begins with listening. ” ? Robert Gately?
Often, when we talk, conversations become discussions that can turn into fights; it’s important to avoid it, stay calm, behave like adults, use a proper tone of voice, and listen to it first without interruption.
Everyone should be able to explain their reasons and opinions and then try to reach an agreement, on many occasions we will not agree with our children and they will not agree with us, but everyone should be able to express themselves without feeling underestimated.
Remember that we are adults, but our children still have an opinion or reasons to act in a certain way, in this sense speaking without imposing our ideas is one of the best ways to maintain good communication between parents and children and make them feel valued and listened to.
Here are some final recommendations for improving trust-based parent-child communication:
Communication is a fundamental pillar of any relationship. Mark times, messages, and interactions. Indirectly, it also sets fundamental values, such as trust and sincerity. Therefore, improving communication between parents and children is essential; in fact, the help we can provide to our children will depend a lot on it.