Assertive people are not only born, they are also made. Of course, there are conditions in which the development of certain virtues or abilities is facilitated, but after all we all have to work on ways to make them more precise and constructive. be and act.
Assertiveness could be defined as the ability to relate to others in a sincere and uplifting way, thus constituting a bridge to interpersonal trust. You could also say that it is an attitude towards oneself and others that leads to maintaining a balance between rights and duties, ensuring mutual respect.
- It is much easier to theorize than to put it into practice.
- Assertive people are the result of different processes and efforts that come together to achieve this attitude.
- Finally everything is part of this long path that leads us to learn to live.
- These features that allow us to assert ourselves are worth looking at.
- Here are seven of them.
“The fundamental difference between affirmation and aggression lies in how our words and behaviors affect the rights of others. “Sharon Anthony Bower.
The word respect is defined as the ability to give value and treat someone or something with consideration. Assertive people develop this capacity. They apply it to themselves and mainly to what is external to them, whether they are people, ideas, works or even animals.
Respect is first and for all for the renunciation of violence. Abuse is by no means an option. If there is a contradiction or conflict, assertive people treat it on the basis of respect for themselves and others, which often results in an effort to preserve both one’s dignity and that of others.
This respectful attitude is also manifested in the world of concepts, ideas and ideologies. The scope of beliefs and beliefs is not limited, even if it is not shared. An assertive person understands that in every human being and in his works there is a value that cannot be overlooked.
Assertive people value good relationships with others, they understand that these relationships cannot be based on lies or hypocrisy, that is why they are the way they are, because they want others to know what they can have with them.
They try not to put themselves in awkward long-term positions, such as condescension, if they disagree with something they say directly, they do not sacrifice their identity to avoid contradictions, so choose your friendships carefully. If it’s not born of your heart to give your friendship to someone, they won’t. He moves not for convenience, but out of conviction.
Assertive people have self-confidence, but this is not born of a sense of presumption or a perception of superiority. If they trust what they are, it’s because they know each other; and if they know each other it is because they are observed, evaluated and learn to have a constructive internal dialogue, that is, they are assumed as people with successes and mistakes.
Self-know-how leads to understanding. This, in turn, leads to acceptance and self-love. Assertiveness is precisely having enough humility to recognize oneseiveness as human and therefore imperfect.
Assertive people can create mechanisms to regulate their emotions, so the attitude that predominates in them is that of serenity, they understand that we all feel and that emotions must be taken care of, not that they do not feel anger, anguish or pain. They simply learned that disarming the bar of their lives from all controls leads to the bad expression of those emotions that have so much energy.
This principle also applies to others. This means that they know how to understand the feelings of others and try to find them also in a state of tranquility. Do those who claim themselves do not put firewood or try to manipulate others in search of their own?Defects? Or weaknesses. They help others find their center, so that no situation is completely out of their control.
Many of the problems come from poor communication. Also, many difficulties are solved in the field of communication and dialogue, what makes the exchange of opinions so complex is that often the tools are not used properly to do so, there is a lack of sincerity or there is simply no clarity as to what it means or there are doubts about how best to express it.
Self-knowledge and thinking help develop communicative skills, this implies the ability to express, in a clear, simple and sincere way, what is inside, but it also means being able to actively listen to what the other has to say. is that assertive people know the value of communication and are willing to invest resources to improve the way they communicate.
You can’t always have a great relationship with others. Reality puts us in front of people who tend to abuse or who feed the desire to harm, in a kind of resentment towards life. This creates tensions on which assertive people can say “enough. . ” They understand that everything has a limit and that there are situations that require a clear demarcation.
Similarly, the expectations or desires of others cannot always be fulfilled, this ultimately gives rise to the guilt that sometimes invites us to overcome ourselves, when developing self-affirmation, this does not happen: can it be said ?, without the negative generating internal discomfort.
Those who claim also become able to tolerate rejection and assimilate the indifference of others; they do not act without the approval of others, but to be consistent with their beliefs, beliefs, and needs. Like everyone else, assertive people prefer to do so, to be recognized by others; otherever, they will not be tempted to act against their own conscience.
All these features are unstable and unfinished; that is, we will not see the aspiration to find people who are afigured in all their actions and words, nothing in the human being is complete, in all dimensions we have a margin of growth, and to enjoy it only tries, more and more, to be better and better.