People who need love are those who have probably grown up devoid of affection and emotional closeness, those who expected the warmth of hugs, the support of words full of love or who simply did not feel sufficiently involved by the people around them . .
Those who have lived without affection grow up waiting for their wounds to heal, the problem is that they tend to believe that others will be responsible for this, when in reality acceptance and seed of self-esteem are the ones that can cure it.
- Therefore.
- Being loved becomes a necessity.
- Although in principle there is nothing wrong with chasing love with commitment.
- In this case there is a distortion that leads to a false goal: to compensate for heartbreak in childhood and to repair the damage in self-love.
- Awakened by lack.
- With another person.
“What we are, we owe it to love, are the days of our existence due to affection?. – Dali Lama Tenzin Gyatso-
Thus, people in need of love often end up generating situations that far from filling their void, increase it and deepen it, it is a complex psychological condition that requires professional help.
For those who need love, affection has disproportionate dimensions, they come to believe that everything else is irrelevant, when they receive expressions of affection from someone, an inner fire begins.
They find it hard to let affection flow smoothly. The possibility of receiving affection from someone makes them very anxious. Both are delighted and terrified. They often turn love into obsession.
A very common feature of people who need love is that when they meet someone they become possessive and controlling. Its purpose in itself is not to control another person’s life, but to avoid suffering.
In an unconscious way, they tend to believe that keeping their eyes on their loved one will prevent them from being lost, the fear of being abandoned or betrayed, because of their injury, leads them to a desire for control that can precisely cause them wear and tear. and break or even the end of the relationship.
For someone who has not received true love, it is very difficult to believe that someone else wants it, so it requires constant displays of affection, which makes him very demanding with his partner or with whom he has an emotional connection.
This results in continual testing and recrimination. “I needed you there, but you weren’t. ” I wanted you to do something special and you didn’t? It is as if they thought it was love only when the feeling is absolute and unconditional, which even a mother cannot always provide.
People who need love are very demanding, but at the same time too permissive, they tend to be beyond the acceptable, everything is better than losing the loved one and therefore being able to go beyond oneself.
If they see signs that the other is moving away, they can do anything not to lose it, they are convinced that they are worth very little and that only the other gives meaning to their life, so they even tolerate abuse if necessary.
Those who have not been loved enough inflict some drama and suffer to love without need, are so grateful that someone loves them that they do not earn time to make sacrifices for that person who offers them affection.
Sometimes love involves sacrifices, it’s true. But in this case things are taken to the extreme, that is, they happen to act as if the other is the only one with rights and privileges, as if the one’s only duty was to receive and not give.
As hard as they try, those who carry the weight of love cannot trust each other, they have a suspicion that envelops their loving bonds from start to finish, what they think is not that they love them, but that they will abandon them. or hurt them.
The mistrust they feel is so strong that they see the good as bad, the positive as negative. They are determined to find hidden motives, hidden motives or evidence of lies. It’s part of his brutal need not to be hurt.
The intolerable are all forms of abuse and abuse. Unfortunately, the vicious cycle of lack of affection leads many people in need of love to allow such behavior in those with whom they believe they have a bond of love.
In reality, they are unable to define where the dividing line between disagreement or conflict and abuse is. Sometimes they just get angry. At the same time, they can admit that they are committing their physical or psychological integrity.
All these patterns constitute a paradoxical situation. People who need love must find this affection to alleviate the emptiness that inhabits them, but the lack of self-esteem leads them, on several occasions, to fall into the clutches of a broken heart, so in these conditions professional intervention is necessary. .