Many of us have long had friends; some continue to surprise us positively and, at other times, disappoint us. We also know new people who show us adorable, and we want to keep getting to know each other and sharing things with them, because the business is so nice.
But meeting a person in depth, with all its positive and negative parts, is something that involves more intimacy, many hours, many different situations and sharing more than a dinner or party.
- Still.
- Despite having shared a lot of time and many good and bad experiences.
- There are specific situations where you really know a person.
- Let’s go over some.
- Some more serious and some more worldly.
- But they all allow us to see internal aspects of this person we didn’t know.
When a person is in a stressful situation, even if it’s not serious, we can know a lot about them because of the way they approach them.
You may be nervous, aggressive, unable to think clearly, not looking for solutions or even complaining (less appropriate people) or even blaming others for what happened.
“I learned that a person can be well known for how he reacts in three situations: on a rainy day, with lost luggage and the way Christmas lights come untangled.
-Maya Angelou-
You can also see an avoidance attitude, delegating responsibility to others because you feel unable to do something or because you have no reason to do it.
These situations are of the least important type, but the way a person behaves in the face of minor stress will give us an idea of how he or she can handle more stressful situations for more serious problems.
It’s not someone who only talks to ask you for a favor and stop talking when you’ve already done it (what happens), it’s the relationships in which one party has a relationship with another, but when you’re no longer interested. for a number of reasons, stop reminding you.
For example, a college colleague you’ve done all the work with and shared your free time, and when you finished your studies you’re cold and distant, that friend you went out with and after you started dating, you know little or nothing about her. That person you offered to help you move to another country and suddenly ignores you when it’s already installed?
Know when your friend needs you and when they don’t need to give you an idea of what that person really is. Despite what I tell you, the most important thing is to observe his actions.
Cohabitation is the ultimate test if you want to know how a person actually behaves, how to respect your space, respect your things, not defend absurd things ?, do you realize if the person is able to share or just live his life at home. , which often seems to be more than something shared.
You realize if she’s able to take the time to talk a little bit about the things that worry you, if she helps you if you get sick, if you don’t get involved in account issues, meetings or a simple home bug.
You can tell if it is independently healthy or if it is selfish in a clear and obvious way in everything it does, and also if the person is friendly on the street and treats others hostilely.
Commenting on others is normal, especially when two people share the same group of friends or live in a common environment (professional, sporty, social?), but talking about others does not imply disrespect.
Instead, continually judging what he is doing, determining whether his life is better or worse than yours, or telling him intimate things can give you insight into who is on your side.
It’s hard to know when a friend is really selfish, you have to realize when someone is doing you a favor simply because you’ve done others and because you know that maybe then you’ll reward the favor, but this generosity is false, it’s always an interest.
When we are going through an economic ordeal and that person ignores our situation and, in addition to not offering help, always complains about some injustice from the past, we realize what kind of person we have as a friend.
He may even lend us money, but he will reluctantly do so, always asking us when we will return it (without needing it right now) or telling others everything he has done for us, leaving us in an unpleasant and quiet position.
A friend must be present in moments of joy and sadness, it is often said that people who are not really friends leave you alone when you are going through a bad time and only remind you when it is fun.
But the opposite can happen: the friend who seems to listen to you and who is by your side when things go wrong and who still devalues and boycotts you emotionally when things go well, if your life starts to go the right way and the person feels envy or false joy, is not for you.
People go through stressful situations in their lives and it is extremely important to have social support that we consider valid and warm.
Surprisingly, in those moments when we need someone’s attention and affection, we may find ourselves with indifference, bad words or an undervaluation of our mood, we can even notice a cold attitude, in which each other’s problems are beyond our own, even if they are going through a really difficult situation.
So surround yourself with the best people and be one of them too. And never forget it, treat others the way you’d like to be treated. A solid network of friends is a precious treasure that you must know how to build, maintain and appreciate. .