Human beings have a fundamental and natural tendency to bond, attachment and sentimental relationship, born of a relationship of fusion and dependence with the mother, in one way or another, this tendency to a relationship with an emotional bond, to the formation of a couple, continues throughout life.
From this point of view, almost everyone, at some point in their life, seeks a romantic relationship, which can be a brief and unstable relationship or a prolonged and stable relationship, or a combination of these variables.
- However.
- These emotional ties in the form of a romantic relationship are not without problems.
- Paradoxically many couples remain united by conflict and discussion.
- It is as if they fear that if the clashes disappear.
- The relationship will also disappear.
“Choose your partner very carefully. 90% of all your happiness or sadness depends on this decision; but after carefully choosing, the work will only begin.
Couple problems can and persist due to several factors, here we will focus on the myths about relationships, ideas that the society and culture in which we live are obvious but that, instead of helping, make it difficult to maintain emotional feeling. Connection.
These ideas that I explain below are spreading more or less in our society, we take them for granted and we hardly question them, however, the price can be very high if we believe them entirely.
This is the myth of total union, impossible to achieve. If the couple kept doing everything together, the two would stop acting as individuals, renounting their identity. It is true that we must trust the other, but not rely absolutely on each other, because if he fails, so will we. Collapse.
Decisions within the couple are important, but not all decisions should be shared with each other. The myth of romantic love influences this idea. This myth leads us to believe that the stage of passion will endure throughout the relationship, with all that this entails.
Anything that doesn’t solve anything and causes tremendous damage to the relationship shouldn’t be shared. This is the rule to follow. If we felt compelled to say absolutely everything, we would be overwhelmed and without the slightest chance of maintaining our own identity.
“We seek the pleasure of passion without the tranquility of a stable romantic relationship. I insist, no matter how much they love you, but how do they like you?
Children consolidate and enrich a good relationship. However, they aggravate the relationship when the couple is not well, as they become an additional burden. The transition to parenthood requires significant adjustments by couples, who are completely impossible to adequately assume if there are no good relationships.
It is better than before taking responsibility for having a child, there is a strong but flexible relationship. In addition, communication channels need to be open, because it is essential for the child for parents to define consensus rules applied by both.
The flexibility of male-female roles is a positive change, in general, for relationships. However, facing 50% rigidly in many cases causes a significant disruption in daily life.
Seemingly uneven chords can promote better balance and harmony. On the other hand, there are couples who discuss the number of times each has cooked or the number of times one has put the dishwasher to work and the other has not.
The fact that the other feels responsible for the satisfaction of all our dreams and needs involves a huge burden of responsibility, is the manifestation of a naive love and an emotionally immature person, they are the ones who need and therefore love. huge emotional impairment that becomes your skill and ability to make decisions.
However, mature individuals may or may not live emotionally with their partner, but they decide. They choose to live together because they love them, not because they need them.
“Never above you, never beneath you, always by your side. -Walter Winchell-
It is a common myth that causes huge communication problems in the relationship, it is really impossible to know what the other person thinks, it is a serious lack of communication to try to read each other’s thoughts or pretend that the other reads our minds.
People who do this not only do not take advantage of what they receive and ruin life, but also do not value the expression of love that the other gives them by offering them what they ask for and need.
This myth also has enormous negative consequences in the field of sexuality, since the other needs to know what kind of caress you prefer, the truth is that if you don’t say it it’s impossible for the other to know.
“Sometimes we confuse the desire to be alone with the need to be with the right person. -Francesc Miralles-
Few situations are more painful and destructive than a relationship maintained solely by fear, guilt, or duty, where affection is lacking. Maintaining a child marriage holds them responsible, if not guilty, for a relationship that only adults should be responsible for maintaining. It’s a burden the child can’t carry, and when he tries, he or she usually does so at the cost of his or her own physical and mental health.
The most suitable for the well-being of children and the couple, if the relationship is not viable, is an amicable separation, children should feel that they are not losing any of their parents, even if they separate as a couple, they can continue to develop their role as parents in an appropriate and beneficial way for their children.
It is true that if there are differences and they can be experienced as rewarding and stimulating, the relationship will be more dynamic, but good marriages often have fundamental similarities that overcome differences.
It is easy to understand that if there are many differences that overcome the similarities, and if those differences are really opposite, the relationship will not be good, if one spouse likes to speak and express their feelings and the other is absolutely far from this dynamic. or think that this is not the best way to solve problems, it will be easy to predict that there will be serious communication conflicts.
If one spouse is extroverted and sociable and the other is introverted, there will be conflicts in the relationship, the same will happen if one is fervent and the other cold, or if one likes to spend and the other is limited to the extreme. All these differences will certainly lead to conflicts in coexistence.