Seven pillars underpin a couple’s healthy love: respect, trust, honesty, support, equality, self-identification and good communication. For a couple to build a healthy love there must be reciprocity, giving and receiving love to the same extent, always taking care of each other.
Authors such as Walter Riso and Jorge Bucay explain that in a relationship it is very important to show gratitude for the gestures of attention and affection that each has towards the other, to be grateful because it is not an obligation. This will help build, live and enjoy a complete and healthy love.
“A definition of love: the joy of each other’s existence. “Walter Riso?
It can often seem like an impossible mission to find the right person and, in turn, let her think the same about us, so when that happens, you feel great emotion and the small inconveniences of life seem to not matter. It’s like they don’t even exist in the face of so much happiness.
However, at the beginning of a relationship, it is common for us to see the world in pink, a tone as fantastic as it is dangerous, because it can blind us and prevent us from seeing that the relationship is not as healthy as it should be. It is important to emphasize that love must be healthy from the beginning.
“Not to die for each other, but to live to enjoy together” Jorge Bucay?
In every relationship there are responsibilities, what if something goes wrong?Between two people the problem is that both and both have part of the solution in their hands. It doesn’t have to be in the same proportion, of course.
In that sense, it is not a question of thinking that you are responsible for everything that happens, or on the contrary of not assuming any mistakes, on the contrary, the question is to find a balance in the commitments that each assumes and can fulfill. . A smart couple knows how to share these responsibilities to shine everyone’s strengths.
By sharing these responsibilities, communication plays a key role, especially when it comes to making commitments or reaching agreements. When it comes to taking responsibility, another important point is realistically assessing what we can and can’t do. we bought a very expensive gift, but we may be able to do it with our hands. We may not be able to find another job, but we can accept what we have.
We are talking about a process, with different threads, of constant growth, a process that will take place within the relationship if love is healthy, but also individually in the people that make up the couple.
“I’ve always thought of the most beautiful answer to a ” I love you, haven’t I?I feel so loved by you. ” Jorge Bucay?
We all have an idea before, during and after any relationship of what our partner should be, just as we imagine what our friends or family should be. Besides, most of us, when we have a partner, tend to compare her to someone?Perfect? And do your best to adjust it.
Within this distance between the ideal and the true couple, there are usually the attitudes, thoughts or behaviors that bother us so much. For the couple to build a healthy love, we must be flexible: in some situations we can make agreements, but with others we will have to accept them or change partners.
In this sense, both people need to adapt their level of tolerance to the reality they share in order for healthy love to continue to grow. On the other hand, making changes intelligently, without falling into the temptation to manipulate the other, will contribute to the growth of the couple in the same direction.
So when it comes to learned behaviors, such as not removing the plate from the table or other household chores, we can talk to our partner and ask him to change his behavior or decide to do nothing and accept the situation. If it is something that is part of your personality, for example, if our partner is more shy than us, we have to accept that it is, what we must never accept are behaviors that attack our integrity, such as aggression and insults. It will not be accepted in any other type of relationship.
Building a healthy love is a matter of quality, not quantity. Loving a lot doesn’t mean “loving well. ” Good love requires respect, trust, honesty, mutual support, a balance between giving and receiving, maintaining separate identities and good communication.
? Keep a love
gives you answers, not trouble.
Security and without fear.
Trust and without a doubt ?
? Paulo Coelho?
In a healthy relationship, the couple gives and receives:
Respect is the ability to see and accept the person as he is, to be aware of his uniqueness, is to want it to develop according to his own desires and forms, and not according to our plans.
Trusting one couple doesn’t mean showing that all the other says or does is feeling like you can trust to share good times and bad times.
It’s important to be honest with ourselves about our feelings and be honest with each other. There can be no emotional exchange if there is no self-criticism. We must be sure that our preferences, desires, dreams, longings, and needs are reasonable. and not violate the rights of the couple.
It is important to demonstrate mutual support: to be able to differentiate our needs from the needs of others and allow them to grow personally and professionally.
“True love is but the inevitable desire to help others be who they are. “Jorge Bucay?
Both partners are responsible for the relationship and must take care of it. Reciprocity is the basis of just love, the basis of building a healthy love. When we give love, we expect love, because the affective relationships of the couple feed on the exchange. it’s not a question of greed, but of mutual altruism: together we are more.
“To say that a couple’s love expects nothing in return is an invention of the submissive: if you give, you want to receive. Is it normal, reciprocal, Walter Riso?
It is important to maintain different identities within a relationship, where each member can maintain their own identity, personality and everything that makes them what are to practice responsible individualism, where everyone keeps alive their self-esteem in the relationship they have chosen, taking care of their partner, but also of themselves. After all, we are complete beings.
“To fall in love is to love coincidences, and to love is to fall in love with differences. “Jorge Bucay?
Communication is essential in any relationship. In a relationship where we want to build a healthy love, it is essential to maintain good communication at all times.
A couple is made up of two people who have to make common decisions and who do not always share the same point of view. To reach agreements, the dialogue must be peaceful and trustworthy.
These seven pillars may not guarantee a couple’s future, but they will create the certainty that together it will be possible to build a healthy, dignified and fun love and a source of growth and inspiration for people. who share it.