It is hard to believe that there are factors that affect your relationship with yourself and that you are responsible for feeding them, after all we assume that each person seeks the best for himself.
However, the human being is paradoxical and often incomprehensible, so sometimes he acts in a way that goes against his well-being.
- In our adult life the most important relationship is the relationship we have with ourselves.
- We are supposed to have sufficient knowledge and experience to act freely.
- A freedom that we sometimes use.
- Consciously or unconsciously.
- Taking measures that harm the relationship.
- With ourselves.
Nobody deliberately cultivates an internal conflict, like most people, you’re definitely looking to be okay and, if you’re okay, you want to be better.
The problem is that there are preconscious or unconscious mechanisms that prevent you from achieving this goal, so it is important to recognize the factors that hinder the relationship with yourself, here are some of them.
“People often say they haven’t met yet. But is self not something that is found, but something that is created?. – Thomas Szasz-
Psychological dependence is one of the factors that affects the relationship with yourself, arises from a feeling of incapacity, conscious or unconscious. The person sees himself as someone who needs support and protection, without realizing that this need is fictitious and that he is only severely restricting his independence.
Sometimes these types of feelings are the result of a restrictive education, the person has never been exposed to situations that really test their abilities: their environment has been overprotective.
Not living in the present is a kind of alienation, today is the time that condenses the past and the future, everything that is not in the present exists only in our minds, either in the form of memories or in the form of predictions.
Not being able to be located in the here and now it hurts the relationship we have with ourselves: it is a habit that requires inaction, since the past and the future inhabit only the mind, it is normal that action is abandoned and attention is kidnapped in the mental dynamics itself.
In fact, we all assign the obligation label to many more tasks than they actually have that nature, in many cases this exists only in our imaginary world, it is only an option that we choose and that does not represent any obligation.
This harms the relationship with ourselves because, by increasing the level of demand, reinforcements will be harder to achieve, it will be more difficult to feel, for example, that we have done a good job if we believe that we have an obligation to do so in a certain way.
It’s about taking on responsibilities that don’t belong to you or building patterns of behavior in which you demand more than you can give, obviously this is one of the factors that makes it difficult to relate to yourself, because you end up being a relentless judge. of your actions and even of your thoughts and desires.
There are many things in life that we can’t achieve, it doesn’t make us bad, it’s just human. There’s no need to blame us for anything, if we make a mistake, we fix it. Then we turn the page.
Believing in luck, overestimating their influence also makes us more passive and, at the same time, often makes us more superstitious, using our resources to take actions that are not really associated with the flow of events.
Just because luck plays an important role doesn’t mean we’re going to go through life fulfilling a written fate, we can’t choose the cards, but they don’t determine how the game works.
Are prejudices fixed ideas that allow us to work with simple realities?With nuances that reduce our cognitive spending at the cost of increasing the risk of making mistakes.
These are generalizations, often assumed without criticism, either because they come from people of trust, powerful sources of influence or moments when we did not have many resources to analyze them.
These preconceived ideas affect your relationship with yourself because they reduce your perspective and prevent you from moving forward, fuel totally imaginary fears and impoverish their social circle.
Justice is an asset we all want. The problem is that this is an instance or dimension where there are not always easy answers. What’s right for someone may not be right for others. Not to mention the times we use it?synonymous, though they are not always synonymous.
When interest in justice becomes an obsession, we can become judges in matters over which we have no jurisdiction; on the other hand, in a process, it is not always possible, when interests seem to be at issue, to give as much precision as possible. verdict to all parties.
All of these factors affect the relationship with yourself and become barriers to well-being. The good news is that it’s not that hard to turn things around and take a more constructive perspective.