The legacy contained in Erich Fromm’s phrases about love continues to inspire us today, because if there is one thing we have to admit, it is not always easy to love, it requires courage, action, commitment and also a strong sense of humility and responsibility. The little authors taught us as much about love as Fromm.
Thich Nhat Hahn, professor, poet and peace activist, once said that loving without knowing how to hurt the person you love, the most complicated thing of all is that we often consider this process passive, passion represents for many people the side effect of attraction that leaves us abandoned, almost paralyzed. A moment when there is no choice but to get carried away, to expect to be reciprocal on the part of the beloved, in an act lacking in energy, creativity and reciprocity.
- Loving with intelligence and fullness is the result of a deliberate act.
- A goal that demands and.
- At the same time.
- Demands the search for excellence.
- If we limit ourselves to letting ourselves be carried away.
- To act passively.
- Until the other says.
- The other says so.
- Does.
- The other guesses and answers.
- We will end up in absolute frustration.
- This is exactly what this German social psychologist.
- Psychoanalyst and philosopher taught us in his book “The Art of Love.
- ” We will then know a series of phrases by Erich Fromm that summarize this unforgettable work about which it is always worth visiting again?.
“Paradoxically, being alone is the condition for being able to love. -Erich Fromm-
? The art of love is not a separate work from the vast and interesting intellectual legacy left by Erich Fromm. In fact, it’s the sequel to another book, “Fear of Freedom. “In this last book, Fromm had already addressed several aspects of a human nature and therefore felt the need to delve into this dimension so fundamental and essential for people that it is love.
So, if there was one thing I sought above all else, it was to teach us that love is an art and that as such requires exquisite mastery of both theory and practice, why, and it is important to remember,, love is the only answer to our existence, it is the feeling that gives us meaning, which also gives meaning to our society.
Let’s see below which of Erich Fromm’s phrases best summarizes these ideas.
The most interesting aspect of the book? The art of love is the thesis that most of us do not know how to love, it may be a little dark, but we must also remember the social context in which Fromm lived, after the end of World War II a great void of values, an existential crisis that forced most thinkers, philosophers and psychologists to reformulate many ideas.
Love was and is therefore the engine that drives us to be better, for this we are forced to work actively in our personality and in our personal growth to satisfy first the love of oneself and then fully love the other. something requires true humility, courage, faith and discipline.
We said it at first. Being in love should not be a passive act, as if you let yourself go, doing nothing else, on the contrary, it is an act that involves a lot of movement, will and exchange for pleasure.
This is one of the most representative phrases of Erich Fromm, which invites us to set aside the cloud in which we are settled to consolidate this relationship, to invest efforts, to walk together hand in hand working on the same project and being the daily creators. of our own relationship.
Child love follows the principle: “I love because they love me. ” Mature love follows the principle: “Love me because I love. ” Immature love says, “I love you because I need you. ” Mature love says: “I need you because I love you. ” – Erich Fromm-
This is one of Erich Fromm’s sentences that is not limited exclusively to the scope of emotional relationships. In fact, it has a lot to do with how people relate to society itself: they do so more out of necessity or sense of need than out of altruism, than authentic love for their fellow human beings.
This form of love, based on necessity, is pathological to Fromm, it means not taking care of yourself or understanding each other, it means waiting for others to take responsibility for what we cannot seek and that, in fact, is our responsibility.
“The first step is to realize that love is an art, just as life is an art. If we want to learn to love, should we do the same thing we should do when we want to learn any other kind of art, such as music, painting, carpentry or the art of medicine or engineering?-Erich Fromm-
“If two people suddenly leave the wall that separates them to break, feel and discover each other, this will be one of the most exciting experiences in life. -Erich Fromm-
It’s one of Erich Fromm’s most beautiful phrases. Il tells us about intimacy, that miracle that usually begins with attraction and burns with a deeper encounter that transcends the skin and sexuality itself. Are we talking about the emotional connection, the discovery, of the other as a person in all its aspects, with its virtues, its flaws, its essences?
We talk about the intimacy in which freedoms slip, the rubbing that leaves the hairs on the skin or a silent and nostalgic conversation that takes us to the stars.
“Love is not essentially a relationship with a specific person; Is it an attitude, an orientation of character that determines a person’s relationship with the world as a whole, and not as a loving object?. – Erich Fromm-
One thing Fromm wants us to understand in his work is that people see love as an object and not as a faculty. Loving is not a dynamic that is limited to this relationship that we establish with our colleagues, our parents or our children.
? Love enriches our existence, it is an attitude capable of making sense of this world, a purpose capable of transforming society, however, as Fromm explains, in this modern culture, we market everything in our desire to meet our own needs, including love. .
It is one of Erich Fromm’s best-known phrases and also the one that most invites us to reflect, as we know, a temptation in which we often fall is to dilute ourselves in being loved, especially at the beginning of the relationship. it is an entropic process that destroys its identity, consumes essences, freedoms and dignity.
We must not forget that the real art of loving is to remain oneself, but to be involved in the same project To be two in the same commitment, to be two oriented towards the responsibility of promoting your own growth and that of your partner?
For Fromm, there is a big difference between falling in love and staying in love, in his opinion, if the relationship begins with sexual attraction and the act is consummated, the bond is somehow compromised.
Fromm explains in “The Art of Love?” that to develop a mature, wise and responsible love we must work in four essential dimensions: attention, responsibility, respect and knowledge, however, in many situations we are involved in a love without intimacy based solely on simple necessity, which is consumed by sexual act.
It is a love of consumption, use and disposition, in which passion can appear, but which can also be easily confused with the distrust and distrust of the other, a love that never takes shape, before retraining.
In turn, those who know (and want) go beyond initial sexual attraction and excitement, will try to create true intimacy, try to be a craftsman to make passion a true love, a mature and courageous love.
In conclusion, with these phrases by Erich Fromm we learn that love is not only an act of mastery, in which mastery of practice and theory is sufficient, the art of love is also formulated as an active and responsible attitude to life and society. It is a transformative force that requires consciousness, non-conformity, which requires creativity, not passivity.