In today’s world, manipulation is part of everyday life, there is manipulation in power, in the media and even in interpersonal relationships, in fact, it is not uncommon to find natural managers in our daily lives.
Manipulation is a form of emotional blackmail. With it, we can get the other to think, feel or act the way we want. All this without the person noticing.
- The big problem with manipulation is precisely this: it’s veiled behavior and therefore the victim doesn’t always realize what’s really going on.
- So people end up biting the hook and allowing manipulators to do what they want.
“The basic instrument for manipulating reality is word manipulation. If you can control the meaning of words, you can also control who uses those words. -Philip Dick-
Therefore, it is very important to learn how to identify the strategies used by manipulators. Read on to discover 7 ways to identify a manipulative controller
A born manipulator constantly uses and abuses victimization. Most likely, the person has a traumatic event to tell each time they need to be justified by their misconduct.
A “difficult childhood,” “ungrateful children” are some of the preferred options. They show these emotional scars with some pride and even boast about them. Yes!
For example, you complain about the manipulator’s lack of consideration and he responds to something like, “You’re afraid I’m not very detailed, but I had to endure my father’s abandonment when I was only three years old. “Who will have the courage to complain about the attitudes of a person who has suffered so much in life?It’s the manipulators’ favorite game.
Indirectly threatening is one of the most common tactics among manipulators, from the great world leaders to the tyrants living in our homes, all manipulators have used and continue to use this strategy, which is primarily to predict the worst possible outcome based on their driving.
“If you keep eating like this, you’ll be a whale. ” The manipulator does not want you to eat and has no medical or scientific argument to support this desire; he just doesn’t want to, period.
You can get irritated when you see happiness on your face while eating an ice cream or, who knows, think you spend a lot of money at the supermarket, but you’ll never say any of this directly. He prefers to compare the problem to nuclear war.
If there’s one thing manipulators hate, it’s direct communication. Do you know this trick of never calling each other a dog, but always offering a bone as a reward?Thus, the general rule is that they like to use sarcasm to ridicule or minimize their thoughts, feelings and actions. The born manipulator wants others to feel insecure and inferior.
An example of this is when you send a seemingly friendly message, but it ends with some pretty aggressive content: “If you read a little more, could you choose your friends better?”Between the lines, what he really meant was, “You have no culture and therefore you only have friends who are nobody in life. “
Does the manipulator’s victim ever believe this kind of “advice”?Have good intentions, Lie! When someone really wants to help us, they say it directly and sincerely. Moreover, it only gives constructive criticism and does not underestimate us at any time.
The masters of manipulation know that they should congratulate their victims very much, at first everything is cute and wonderful. The person is attentive, shows excellent taste and knows how to speak very well, with that their expectations are up there.
But this is only the first chapter. In the second things start to change, when you already find the manipulator very cool and good people, the loads begin to arrive.
It throws a kind of seduction network at you, and with that, you can’t value it objectively and clearly, from there you’ll approve everything you do and, even if you feel a little doubt, the person will always find a way to convince him that “you can’t think badly of someone so perfect. “
Not knowing how, does the manipulator become a kind of “spiritual guide”?That person likes to tell others how to live, even if he doesn’t put it into practice himself. It’s the typical “do as I say, don’t do what I do. “
A born manipulator likes to give advice and continues to spread his philosophical maxims. He tells you, step by step, what you have to do. If the result doesn’t go as expected, is the culprit still you?As he said exactly what to do, to do, he certainly did something wrong and didn’t follow the instructions to the letter.
A real friend will never tell you what to do. This will probably help you find your way forward, because you know that every human being is different from each other. The solution found by the person?UN?this does not always suit the person “B”. Respect is freedom, not dependence.
The natural manipulator is usually a master in the art of the word. He loves to use elegant speeches and always has an unexpected and creative argument, even if he’s a liar.
For example, if he says, “You look like a penguin in this dress,” you will probably get mad, but soon he will say, “Sorry! Didn’t I think a joke would offend you so much? Yes, they always win! A manipulator knows very well well how to disagree.
When faced, he is unlikely to respond and prefer to speak. When you realize it, the conversation will be on a completely different topic than the initial one.
When the least expected, the manager changes roles and blames the victim. A very classic example of this is when a woman discovers that her husband was unfaithful to her.
If he finds the motel receipt, he becomes enraged to see things canceled and monitored. The husband ends up teaching his wife about the importance of trust in a relationship and introduces a litany about privacy.
In the end, the woman feels bad and ends up apologising for being so “controlling. “With this, betrayal becomes a misunderstanding that should never have been mentioned.