There are people who consider that the best relationship that can exist between a mother and her daughter is that of “best friends”. However, this situation may end up leading to the emergence of mutual rivalries, loss of respect, confusion of roles and even invasion. privacy.
Children need an adult who gives them an example, is a reference for authority and respect, who orients them and provides them with protection and support, so that they can manifest the emotional stability and mental health they so desperately need and that gives order to their existence.
“Is a child’s future still his mother’s work?
-Napoleon Bonaparte-
The problem of this type of relationship is confronted with the fact that the healthy limit disappears in the mother-daughter relationship, initially this link must be accompanying and educational, but an apparent friendship can make you an element of control and overprotection. This makes it impossible to build a model of respect and authority, because the mother is seen as a couple.
In this kind of relationship, foolish and confusing, the girl is created a high level of insecurity, because her decisions are subject to the knowledge and approval of her mother, who is otherwise disappointed; this sign of overprotection has a detrimental effect on the development of the girl’s personality, as it creates harmful dependence between the two.
When the figure of authority is not clearly understood by the girl, she will feel a lack of protection and self-confidence will be undermined. He will doubt when he will have to make decisions and that will jeopardize his aspiration for independence.
The fact that the mother-daughter relationship is never a relationship of friendships means that it cannot be close and rewarding to both, but being friends is one thing and being a mother and daughter is another. Without a doubt, a good mother always looks good, the best for her daughter. However, this does not give her the right to invade her privacy, with the excuse of approaching her daughter as a friend.
It is essential to understand the origin of this phenomenon, in most cases this mother’s behavior has emotional conflicts related to addiction, and in some cases these conflicts are accompanied by depression and so that the girl does not repeat the same mistakes. the mother is obliged to resolve these conflicts alone or with the help of a professional.
Girls know that they don’t necessarily have to obey their friends, so a mother must be affectionate, but at the same time firm, besides, a girl doesn’t have to know all of her mother’s intimate problems. result in unfounded fears, sadness and confusion about their parents’ relationship.
The best thing is that this type of relationship is transparent, it is important to generate trust spontaneously, not as an imposition, otherwise a state of anxiety and constant mistrust is generated, which will result in unnecessary emotional wear and tear that can be avoided. .
On the other hand, both mother and daughter, if they detect possible problems in the other, must prove it, it is not healthy to close what may disturb it, it must be expressed, always with an atmosphere of sincerity and respect in this way, the relationship will be healthy and free.
The girl must understand, especially if she is a minor, that there will be decisions about her life that her mother must make. Imagine the anger that would cause these decisions to be made by a friend. What a mother can be forgiven may not be forgiven of a friend.
Misunderstandings between mothers and daughters can always be corrected, it is essential to know when to do so, to the corresponding affection and trust, just add a little common sense to resolve the differences or possible disagreements that have occurred between the two.
It is important for the girl to learn to solve her problems and thus gain independence, let her know that her mother will always be there, to support and advise her, as only a mom knows how to do. The girl must also understand that there are aspects of her life that can be saved for herself. That it is not good to go too far in intimacy, because everyone has their own history and their own way to go.
What do you think?