Adult rage attacks are more common than we think, maybe it’s because they don’t have as much visibility as children.
As a rule our people are more discreet, silent and silent because, after all, we also have to face our frustrations, the negative emotions that leave us without patience.
Let’s just say that neither the years nor the maturity make us strong and emotionally effective creatures.
It is true that at some point we have to deal with adults who burst into tantrums, protests and dramas in the same way as a three-year-old, however, it is worth mentioning that in each of us there is also a child who feels hurt and affected when the world is not as he expected.
Having high expectations about certain things and seeing that they do not come true, not knowing how to handle disappointment, boredom or even accumulating an excess of negative emotions, are situations that sooner or later end up imploding in us small black holes.
We all have moments of anger attacks in our day to day, but we know how to hide them with more or less precision, the experience of these situations constantly leads us to very stressful states, so it is interesting to know a simple strategy.
The emotional brain reacts to an event faster than the rational brain. -Daniel Goleman-
Adult rabies attacks are very common, but they manifest very differently than they do in childhood.
For starters, one of the reasons many people are looking for psychological therapy is that the level of anxiety they experience is so high that they don’t know what strategy to apply.
Thus, when we move a little further into the origin of this dysfunctional state, it is common to discover the same pattern.
There are those who feel that everyone around them ends up causing disappointment. Family, friends, couple, colleagues, etc. We all make mistakes, everyone does something that sooner or later has problematic consequences.
This frustration often takes the form of internal fits of anger, which are silent tantrums, in which the mind struggles between disappointment, anger, and disappointment.
Attacks of anger in adults do not occur when playing or breaking things, most end up in the solitude of a room, where the person bursts into tears, it is not easy, as we see, to rationalize many of the things that happen to him. us every day.
There are those who have the most capacity to manage and accept everyday frustration and disappointment; others, on the other hand, are more vulnerable. That’s why it’s critical to have resources at hand.
In his book How to Deal with Destructive Emotions, Daniel Goleman states that it is our emotional brain that reacts to everything that happens around us, that is, everything goes through the emotional filter before going through the rational one.
Something similar is demonstrated by studies such as that conducted by other specialists, such as Joseph E. LeDoux, New York University: We are people who act, fundamentally, by emotions, and that is why they play us again and again a bad thing.
So what can we do when we feel overwhelmed by emotions, how can we act when we feel nothing but anger and frustration?Find out below.
Adult anger attacks often have negative consequences. On the one hand (and less frequently), there are those who overreact, raise their voices, speak disrespectfully, or even throw objects.
On the other (and much more common), there are those who prefer to face their anger and frustration in silence.
To avoid both situations, it is advisable to apply a simple strategy that has a particular starting point: consciousness.
After this unfavorable, uncomfortable or frustrating event, we will have 3 hours to act properly, after this time it will be too late to solve this situation in a mature, adult and solid way, as well as to adequately face the emotional knot. frustration.
So we have to follow these steps
When we are frustrated, the first thing that arises is anger, we can (and should) accept their presence, but never let ourselves be carried away by it.
The first step we must take is to give it back its impact, relieve the physical tension that accompanies the emotion and alleviate the negative thoughts it usually brings.
If anger and anger are under control, everything will be easier and we’ll reason better. One technique to achieve this is deep breathing.
Anger attacks are typical of children who don’t yet know how to manage their emotional world, dealing with these tantrums is a normal part of the maturation process.
That is why, as adults, we should have gone through that, if not, we must take steps in that direction, the most important thing, after calming anger, is to concentrate, to think in a mature and balanced way.
We have time to do that. Over the course of two or three hours, we must delve into the reason for our discomfort and frustration:
Calmly and patiently, we must answer these questions
The final and most important step is to generate an adequate response or behavior during these three hours, it is not worth postponing tomorrow.
Adult rabies attacks happen because there is something perceived as a threat, something that frustrates, that steals rights. After we have done our self-assessment, if we believe it is justified to do something, we will.
We must ask those who have harmed us, demand respect and set limits, it is essentially a question of maintaining proper and informed behavior to feel better, gain respect and maturity.
However, reflecting, if we realize that we are acting impulsively, it is worth admitting and asking for forgiveness.
Emotional maturity does not come over time, it is not a factory update that is installed when one reaches a certain age, we are the ones who must drive this process and, for that, nothing better than working on these internal attacks of anger that we handle. silently.