Communication is the basis of a good relationship with our children, how to get them to listen to us?Sounds hard, doesn’t it? However, it’s easier than you think if you establish strong communication in the family.
Assertive communication in the family means expressing our opinion consciously, coherently, clearly, directly and balancedly; its purpose is to communicate our ideas and feelings, without intention of hurting or harming, acting from an inner state in which there is trust.
- Strong communication in the family is essential to strengthen the relationship between its members.
- Good communication translates into healthy bonds.
- Mutual respect.
- Affection.
- Affection and camaraderie.
- Whether in the relationship of parents.
- Theirs with their children or between siblings.
When do you say, yes?For others, make sure you don’t say no, Totoi?Paulo Coelho?
Did you ever think you should have said something and you didn’t?Maybe you’ve been passive.
Did you ever say something and feel bad because you thought you looked like a tyrant?Did you feel like the others couldn’t say what they were thinking about your attitude?In that case, you may have been aggressive.
There are three main forms of communication
The passive form. Usually a member does not express their concerns, speaks softly, accepts without understanding what is asked, this passive form leads to a relationship of inequality and disadvantage to the other family member, generates feelings of low me – esteems and does not promote healthy emotional bonds.
The aggressive form or style of communication. It consists of confusing messages, which can include shouting, rebukes and even insults; Similarly, this type of communication emotionally alienates family members because it generates rejection, fear, and resentment; In addition, it is a form of emotional abuse and should not be used.
The assertive form, the most recommended. This involves respect, dialogue and negotiation, strengthens family relationships in a context of respect and trust, and also provides healthy self-esteem for children.
“The fundamental difference between self-affirmation and aggression is that our words and behaviors affect the rights and well-being of others. “Sharon Anthony Bower?
Developing assertive communication in the family will have a positive impact on our emotional and mental health, as well as allowing us to see reality more clearly and build stronger relationships with family members. In addition, it promotes:
Stress reduction
Improving your social and personal skills.
Better impulse control or anger.
Improve your self-esteem
A better understanding of your emotions.
They respect each other and earn the respect of others.
Improve your decision-making skills
A gain in personal satisfaction.
“The way we communicate with others and ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. “? Anthony Robbins?
Some tips for promoting strong communication within the family
Sometimes parents compare our children too much to other children to point out their mistakes, but this can lead to insecurity and a sense of inferiority.
In addition, they can get used to comparing therself to others in areas where they are inferior.
If you don’t build self-confidence in your children, they will hardly be able to have strong communication in other areas where they need to show their performance.
Every child, like every person, is unique. Most comparisons are unfair or poorly structured: each individual faces very particular circumstances, such as children.
The affirmed communication is based on respect for the other person, before we talk to our children, let’s take some time to think about what we are going to tell them and how we will do it, especially when the message we want to convey to them. transmitting is important.
We must also inspire empathy for others. If the whole family begins to understand what the other person thinks and feels, it will be easier to have a dialogue and make sure that the discussions don’t destroy trust.
“Effective communication begins with listening. ” ? Robert Gately?
Authoritarian education limits assertive communication, because if parents govern, children only obey, it does not encourage children to talk about decisions involving the family, which is a way to tell them that their voice doesn’t matter.
Let your children talk about issues that require their participation, in this way they will evolve with more confidence, they will know that your point of view is important to you and that they can also present arguments to make the best decision.
You can’t expect your children to express their feelings and thoughts if you don’t. Tell them about your day, your concerns, and your interests. Also, listen carefully when you say something.
When you know they made a mistake, give them advice instead of judging and scolding them, so you’ll nurture their confidence to share their concerns with you.
Being sympathetic does not mean attracting attention when the boundaries are crossed, in this sense remember that your performance is destined not to repeat the mistake made.
On the other hand, remember that many lessons are learned by example. You, who are the role model for your children, are the first to use an assertive communication style to learn how to apply it in your own lives.