Assertive indifference is a new expression that has begun to be used in sentimental relationships, however, little by little, the concept has been used in other areas, making it an interesting idea to handle different situations.
Affirmed indifference is defined as behavior that voluntarily blocks any kind of external response to a given stimulus, as if the situation doesn’t matter to you or affect you in any way, it’s simulated behavior. The goal is not to reveal to the other how you feel.
“Where do people feel safe (?), will they feel indifferent”?Susan Sontag
What is sought with assertive indifference, in short, is not to expose real emotions to the other, at first this may seem like a form of pretension or manipulation, however, it is quite the opposite. The idea is to avoid showing weaknesses or weaknesses so as not to be manipulated by others, in contexts where there is a power game. So the characterization of “assertive”? To characterize this form of indifference.
Couple life is sometimes a bed of roses, but sometimes also a battlefield, there are many elements of power present, not only are we talking about the machismo that prevails in almost all, women also play the role of decorative figure on numerous occasions.
One of the moments when this becomes palpable is what many call “comparison. “This happens when one member of the couple wants to demonstrate their influence over the other. This occurs mainly at the beginning of the relationship. This also happens when the couple splits up. , without much conviction, and one of them wants to measure the possibilities he has to try to reconcile.
It’s kind of a power game. In this case, assertive indifference can be a good answer. You claim not to feel anything, either to avoid manipulation or to avoid a relationship that has ended. This is not a lie, but a tactic to achieve greater good.
Affirmed indifference is also an appropriate response when there are persistent conflicting links. An example is when you have a colleague with whom you have systematic differences that lead you to discomfort. You know it’s not worth it. For some reason, for this person, it is necessary to provoke conflicts with you.
If you realize that dialogue is impossible, the best option is assertive indifference. It involves not giving in to provocations, ignoring offensive comments, and ultimately giving up a genuine connection with that person. The objective is not to respond to the stimulus proposed and which, in the end, only lead to acidic and unnecessary situations.
Over time, assertive indifference becomes a way to disable each other’s harmful behavior, when the person realizes that he or she does not receive reactions in the meaningless game he intends to implement, sooner or later he leaves this type of behavior because he becomes ineffective.
The stated indifference also applies to everyday conflict situations. Differences with others are part of the routine. Most of the time, these differences are really negligible. However, they sometimes give way to larger clashes. One way or another, we have to constantly decide whether to take the difference to another level or not.
Making the right decision about what to value and what is not part of self-affirmation, this statement is precisely the social competence that allows you to effectively defend your rights. It limits abuse, but to be effective, you must also learn to distinguish when the essence of your rights is threatened and when you don’t.
Not all conflicting situations require an answer from us, that, forget it, is part of assertive indifference, this implies the valuation that is placed on the scale, which brings us more benefits and fewer negative consequences. Responding to the aggression of a drunk, person, for example, is only valid if it really jeopardizes a fundamental good.
Indifference is therefore a tool to intelligently manage different conflicting situations, sometimes the best thing we can do is to do nothing, in fact, not being able to do anything when it suits you is what highlights this valuable concept.