Loves in middle age are selected by the experience lived and by the serenity of the heart, we are talking about dream souls who are in the twilight of a stage of life in which they understand love, no longer as conquest or invasion, but as a Connection based on joy, tenderness and complicity. They are usually honest relationships that give rise to a wonderful stage of life.
Sometimes they say that true love awaits us at maturity, but this is not entirely true. Many times we make the mistake of wanting to make continuous comparisons about all our life experiences, when reality is a little simpler, existing means knowing how to appreciate everything that happens at every stage of our lives, to thank every experience of youth, for their successes. and mistakes, and enjoy every gift that offers us maturity.
- “Mature love means union with the condition of preserving: preserving one’s own integrity and also the individuality of the other?? Erich Fromm?.
Each life cycle allows us to receive everything that comes to us in a very special way. When we are young, we practically do not put filters and embrace with immense desire and infinite energy everything we find in our path. We’re like summer storms. Then we became more selective, more cautious, there is still the smell of those intense moments in us, but now we prefer the warmer breezes, the ones that remind us of the quiet and bright afternoons and the quiet beaches.
The love of middle age does not lose its youth or innocence, but they no longer want to fall into old mistakes. They know very well that couples are not “orange halves” but “oranges and apples”, people who have lived their own lives. experiences and that are very different Souls with their own individuality who want to give themselves a new opportunity to love?
Alberto and Maito are over 60 years old and have now decided to take a big step: to live together. Of course, there is no shortage of criticism from some of his sons: it is certainly a mere economic interest, one of them said. Are you looking to end loneliness, others say, Is it a whim, sure that in a few months you will return to your business, your books, your travels, your grandchildren?
However, neither Alberto nor Maito are concerned about all these criticisms and opinions, they no longer care about the opinions of others. Wrinkles and scars, although slightly staining the skin, strengthen the heart and willpower. They are no longer children, maturity gives no naivety, but much wisdom. In addition, their emotional backpacks contain countless experiences so as not to make this decision a mere explosion, a mere whim.
This love of autumn, far beyond what your children think and all those looks they observe, but don’t see, they don’t know selfishness and they don’t need to prove anything to others. Because nothing in them is artificial, their thoughts, words and caresses are so sincere that it is the light of truth that enlightens them, it is a feeling so complete that it fills their heads, hands and hearts.
On the other hand, there is a fact that surely our pair of protagonists already knows, a large part of the younger population associates maturity or this stage of fall of our life cycle with passivity and resignation, it is as if love or passion have an expiration date, as if it were a forbidden territory for the gray , for those who leave more life than they have ahead of them.
“Young love lives on enthusiasm, the maturity of harmony. “
If there is one thing positive psychology teaches us is that the curve of happiness reaches its highest peak at this stage: a time when love is lived in a much clearer and cleaner way.
Love in middle age gives a person more than a satisfying tranquility, it is not a fire that burns the skin, but a river that takes us on a journey of discovery as a couple, to continue to grow, live and nurture a new type. Because beyond what skeptics may believe, it is at this stage that, on average, we experience greater psychological well-being.
Economists Blanchflower and Oswald conducted an interesting study in which they concluded that, in reality, the perception of well-being and personal satisfaction is more intense in childhood and adulthood. The happiness represented throughout our life cycle would have a “U” shape, reaching a first peak in childhood and a second reaching fifty years.
Of course, the passage of the years is not always synonymous with psychological maturity, emotional balance is not normative, but a large part of the population that enters the fall of its life does so with exceptional integrity and a wonderful attitude.
They are people who have not only accumulated years, but have nurtured desires and dreams, are men and women who have conquered themselves, who have charisma and an alchemy where they combine wisdom with hope, serenity with passion and desire with humility.
Middle-aged loves may not be as effusive as the first love of adolescence, but they will certainly be much more rewarding and successful.