Time with an ex should contribute as an experience to help our self-know-how, that is, what we have now and what we need to do in the future; we must learn from our own mistakes as well as from others. All this will help us find the true love that, as they say, exists.
The problem appears, or rather, occurs when the links are very strong and the links are still dormant, the footprint left by an ex can be positive or negative, it all depends on the intensity of the relationship, not the sum of the days. There are many couples who have lived together for a year and live longer than couples who have spent ten years together.
- On the other hand.
- Joint projects and expectations placed on the other person may be responsible for how we feel in a new relationship.
- Or with ourselves.
- This means that if we have too much confidence and are betrayed.
- It will probably be difficult to achieve it.
- Our hands on fire by someone.
- At least for a while.
Some of our ex-boyfriends are still there even after a long time, either physically or emotionally, others are lost without a trace in the conscious mind, and there are also those who return, by surprise, by souvenir, passing in a place where you have always been, by a name, etc. As much as a relationship ended well, as much as ex-boyfriends leave marks, sometimes deeper, sometimes shallower, but certainly marks. allow us to see some important aspects of ourselves.
Even if you have had 20 relationships, all are connected with you in one way or another, is that in the search for love there is a common denominator that does not speak of the other, but of yourself, that is, your unconscious needs. , your traumas, your expectations, etc. , are the words of dr. Patricia Sep-lveda Sanhueza, psychologist and couples therapist.
We may even think that exs are the opposite of us, but that’s not the case. A relationship gives us the opportunity to learn more about ourselves, about sexuality, about how we treat people, how we can offer what we have to others, etc.
But then, why are some relationships more important than others?, the specialist responds that this is due to the expectations that have been presented, that the more projects there were with the person, the greater the injury.
In turn, ex-boyfriends differ from ex-parents because emotional engagement is greater. In this type of relationship there were more shared moments and more unfulfilled goals. Courtship is training and marriage is an important place in the existence of human beings. The rating is even higher if the couple has children.
Dr. Sep-lveda explains that choosing and establishing an emotional connection with a person to be happy implies a certain level of maturity and self-care. They may have only spent two months dating, but if that person was fully responsible for each other’s happiness, the breakup would bring a very large void. The formation and combination of couples occurs unconsciously. A clear example is that of passionate woman and successful man, one helps with admiration and the other with protection, being the supplier.
Many separations occur because the agreement between the two changes direction, either by one or both parties, if the relationship does not last and a new contract is not concluded, the misfortune and subsequent rupture are likely to occur. couples ask for help when they are too hurt to recover on their own.
Although they tend to think differently, detachment can bring relief and happiness when consumed, it is essential to take advantage of this moment to learn more about yourself, your flaws and abilities, your maturity, etc. It is essential to analyze why the situation, otherwise the pain will remain for a long time. Until some wounds heal, there will be no room for a new love.
This is not to say that there are no more marks left in our hearts or minds, but the secret is to use them to move forward, to change, to improve, not to think, to cry or to cry for loss. and success or failure will depend on how we heal from the previous relationship.
There is no rule that says how much an ex should “mark” us, nor how long we need to heal the pain. It all depends on everyone’s commitment to be better on a daily basis.
A good idea is to “save” every relationship, which made us happier. For example, take a walk, passion, romance, feeling cared for, security, communication. Are they? Well, we must stay away from our old relationship, the bad ones, on the other hand, must be eliminated over time, which is the best drug in the vast majority of cases.