A boy was always in a bad mood, hated and fighting with his classmates. One day, his father suggested nailing his bedroom door every time he argued with a colleague. The boy put many nails in the door, but as it was a great effort, he stopped arguing with his companions.
The father suggested pulling out a nail for each day that he was not angry, and the child did, but the father then showed the marks left by the nails on the door and said: never forget it, anger and hatred leave marks on our hearts. .
- A person may feel anger and hatred at the irritation or anger caused by the abuse of feeling their rights violated.
- We are all angry at some point because something unfair has happened in our environment (a politician who acted fraudulently.
- A woman who has abused) and this outrage at injustice is worthy of respect.
But the problem arises when anger and hatred are used to cover up our fear, for something we have done wrong; in these cases, when outrage is no longer meant to react to injustice, it becomes a mere manifestation of ego, demonstrating the inability to properly control and manage our emotions.
According to Raymon Novaco, an expert in anger psychology, this is an emotion that has an important communicative function that allows us to express our negative emotions, but which is often confused with aggression, which is behavior, the border between them is sometimes complicated.
Novaco argues that there are four essential types of provocation that may be the cause of our outrage:
Behind anger and hatred, we find low self-esteem, insecurity, emotional immaturity, selfishness, impatience, lack of tolerance or frustration. Behind all excessive and uncontrolled anger, there is always a child (an immature and reckless being), frustrated and frightened. According to the psychologist Bernabé Tierno. To free us from one’s own fear, to encourage and frighten others, outrage, fury and destructive violence are used.
Whether he’s a 16-year-old or a 50- or 70-year-old, his fears lead him to behave like a capricious and fearful 3-year-old boy who gets angry because he took away his toy. that a person can protect himself from helplessness, that sometimes his desires may not be satisfied.
The anger and hatred that a person develops can have important consequences, such as superficial relationships with others or based on domination, the need for obedience, guilt and remorse, loneliness, lack of empathy with others, believing that he is always right.
When we are the target of someone else’s anger and hatred, the best thing we can do is leave, but sometimes this is not possible and you can take some simple steps not to let that person’s anger and hatred be unpleasant to you: